black & white, there's no grey.

I went to west plaza to buy screen protector for my phone just now, and J & I were chatting. Suddenly, the topic turned to you. And I realised you've been lying to me. You're not in trouble, you've been in singapore all along, at the same fucking place.

J told me everything, every shit. And it turns out that J also don't like your new fucking cheena girlfriend. She only know how to sit there and play games, and get jealous out of nothing. Well, i don't hate her, but i just don't like her. For all that she said to me, when the fucking fact is, I don't love you anymore, and that you still owe me money. The fact that you never told her about it, correct? Fucking $xxx.

You didn't tell her about our past, you tried every way to hide it from her. You made her think that i'm the bad guy, i know it all, but i just didn't say it out, i gave you face.

Everyone said that i'm stupid, even your ex good friend J. Even he thinks that i'm stupid to have believed in you all this time, to even help you. All this time when i was helping you cover, telling people that you're actually not that bad, you were actually so fucking scheming.

It terrifies me to see such a huge change in a person, just within a span of 18 months. I used to think that you were good, that i can't believe i found such a nice guy. And now, i am regretting knowing you, whole-heartedly.

I ever wonder to what extent love makes people blind, and I finally know it. Blind to the state whereby you believed in him, the 'initial' him which you fall for. And no matter how much he change, you'll still think that it's the 'initial' him. Now i know, it's totally bullshit.

Now that i think back, of the times you complained to me about work-related matters. Now i know..all along while you were complaining, you were scheming hard, and trying to make use of me and my friendships with others. Now i know how much of a pokerface you are.

You're just 21 this year, why have you become so scary? The guy that i actually fell for, where has he been? I always thought that J was the 'bad' guy...but now i know. All along that you were afraid i'd get close to J, that you potrayed him to be the bad guy.

I know that I'm not in love with you anymore, and that I don't ever wanna see you again. But that doesn't mean that I'm not hurting.. cus i'm hurting badly.

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Chalet tmrw, woot. I might be going malaysia tmrw before the chalet...so yeah. I need some alcohol badly, to numb myself from all these redundant pain.

In a mess now. bye.