When the heart stops beating

To a certain manipulative bitch!

2010-02-25T01:07:00.000+08:00

Eh i had enough already hor. You know yourself who the fuck is making use of who okay! Who the fuck is the one who go around saying shits, who is the one who uses people. And i quote you, God have eyes to see! Fucking true. Don't fucking act innocent with me, you know yourself what the fuck you have said or done all these while. Getting money from fish**** saying what you need to pay for spoilt stuffs in the factory or whatever, getting money to go on a fucking holiday and then ditching someone after getting his money. And saying stuffs behind your friends' back. Do not treat as if everyone is naive and blind okay. Even if they're blind, they'll see through you one day!

And if you still wanna say shits to certain people in other country or whatever, then do it lor. We don't fucking care about it anymore, but please stop manipulating people. Maybe it's in your human nature, but whatever, stop spreading your fucking "knowledge" and just shut your cb mouth up.

I never say anything AT ALL these 3 months because I thought to let things go, but you fucking wanna bring it up again right. You can try breaking us up again, but it's not fucking gonna work. Look around you, see how many people actually have already seen through you! YOU KNOW IT YOURSELF LA HOR CCB.

_|_

2010-01-06T11:43:00.008+08:00

Merry xmas 2009, Happy new year 2010!

It's been a while since I last updated. I've actually totally lost the blogging mood, but thought that I'll just update once in a while, cus it's a pity to shut down the site, after being with it for almost a year. I've been changing sites rather so oftenly that it's a miracle I've stuck with a site for so long. Many things have happened within this months, and I've learnt to see things with a different, and even more cynical perspective.

Within one month, many things have happened, both good and bad. At first, i really don't know how to handle things, because it just came so sudden. But after a while, I finally got used to it. Although i still don't know what to do, but i guess time will heal everything, time will let us forget everything. All i wanna say is there are 2 sides to every coin, likewise, story.

This holiday, I've been spending time with baby and my family. And some of my outside friends too.. I'm kinda sick and tired of poker faces.

As usual, for baby and me.. when there are happy times, there's bound to be unhappy times too. Whenever we quarrel, i always ended up feeling so damn lethargic, it's like energy's been zapped out of my body totally. But luckily there's not much quarrels between us anymore..

I've been thinking a lot these days. And it's making me so confused, I don't even know who to find when i needed to talk to someone badly. Sometimes, I just really need silence and peace in my life. But sometimes, silence scares the hell out of me, and i find myself needing to find something loud and noisy to get rid of the silence.

There's nothing else I can say here anymore. This site will be left here as it is. I'm moving on to nakedxlove .

2009-12-04T11:18:00.001+08:00

my life just seem devoid of feelings now.

2009-11-22T01:08:00.002+08:00

I've been living a rather mundane life recently, no partying, no ton sessions. Only meeting heartbreaker every day, i'm learning to be a "good" girl now. It's the 11th day, and things have been going on fine between us. Though i learnt of some facts which make me pretty pissed off, but still, it's the past already.

Met up with heartbreaker just now for selegie bean curd. And he was actually behaving like a child, cus he's really damn tired. Poor baby haven't been really sleeping for the past one week, and is finally collapsing. I love chilling, and having simple chats with him.

Been skipping school, i know i knowwwwww. And it's been long since the whole group of us went out together, i miss movies (even thou i've watched quite a few this month), shisha (!!) and tcss together!!!!

Seriously. Can't wait for the hols to arrive!! Audit's in a week's time. Can't wait for it to be over with.

Baiz.

2009-11-19T11:54:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I really don't know what to do with my life.

Seems happy, but yet unhappy.
Seems unhappy, but yet happy.
Seems easy, but yet complicated.
Seems hard, but yet easy.
Negative, positive, negative positive.

What else?

Too much to say, yet words fail me every single time. I need to get a new fucking space naow.

baiz.

2009-11-16T12:02:00.002+08:00

Haven't been going online much recently, especially this week. Some changes in my life, apparently. Good changes, i hope so. :>

Been spending time with heartbreaker, like i've been seeing him practically 7 days this week! I don't know if we'll work out perfectly fine, but for now it's been okay. I don't wanna jinx anything by saying wonderful things now. I learnt my lesson, for this time. Haha.

Cashflow is seriously fucking me upside down. I have no doubts that i won't make it through this paper. I don't know why but I just can't be bothered anymore. But since I already promised heartbreaker, then i'll do it. Trying to study nowwwww.

p/s: Heartbreaker is just my personal nickname for him. If you know who, then good for you. If you don't, then too badddd~ ahahah.

BAIZ~ ^.^

2009-11-11T21:56:00.003+08:00

Been going out almost every night, pub/private house parties/clubbing & studying randomly at the airport with different people. Yeah this is the life i'm leading now, and i'm pretty tired and sick of it. Getting wasted now and then, and then stoned by smoking. Nicotine intake have been increasing again.

Anyway, yesterday, 10 nov 2009 has been officially declared the worst day of my life! Seriously everything went wrong yesterday. Had a meeting with the section head, and then fell down the fucking stairs in school. And then met up with my gf, we went to the hotel so damn last minute, and i was in my fucking uniform. And the receptionist don't allow me to go up at first, cus the fucking room is packed. But I still went up in the end, after someone went to talk to the receptionist. And when i reached the room, i saw some stuffs which made me damn pissed off. I'm wearing my uniform and you're like taking it in the room. What if the fucking police came?!

Then quarreled with ys on sms, and then i took a cab down to serangoon to find him & jon. And when i reached serangoon, i fucking realise my wallet's not with me. So i had to call ys and ask him to pay for me. And no one fucking picked up my calls cus they were too fucked and high to answer the damn phone calls. And so, i lost my wallet, together with my cards & ic & cash.

Like as if the day's not fucked enough, he had to show me attitude, and then i was too pissed off seriously i walked off without meeting up with them. Smoked for like an hour plus at serangoon interchange alone, before i went home. And my fucking dad had to blow his top off and bark like a mad dog non stop when i told him i lost my wallet. He fucking only care about the cash needed to replace the fucking ic. And i didn't even said that i want him to pay for me. And he fucking slammed the door and stuffs, making me even more fucked up.

I notice every time when parents are pissed off at you, they tend to bring every single fucking history out. And so it went on for a fucking while, till i cannot take it anymore. I just went back to my room and stoned. And now i fucking have to replace my Ic and atm card. This will be the fucking 3rd time i'm replacing my atm card.

Seriously, there's nothing that went smoothly yesterday. I don't know what kind of goddamn day it is!

Skipped school today, pretty much not in the mood to go to school anyway. Went to the airport to study with Kristy. And then met up with Kristy's friends and Ys. And now im back @ home again, waiting for the volcano to erupt again.

Am i fucked or am i fucked?

BAIZ.

2009-11-05T20:39:00.002+08:00

Although this picture can't see my face, i still like this picture alot~

I know i'm getting lazier and lazier to blog pictures and words. It's been a drama mama week. Read cx's blog, and you'll get it. I believe those mother fuckers will burnnnnnn.

And my own life, i don't know what to do. Today is a bad day, been feeling very tired and moody. And i finally got the truth. And i'm accepting it. And i'll live with it.

P/s: A white lie is still a lie. And i don't like being topic of conversation, no matter what it is about.

BAI.

2009-11-02T19:36:00.002+08:00

I totally don't have the mood to blog anymore, or maybe not blog here anymore. Below are pictures taken using cx's phone in different occasions.

Anyway, friday kbox and pub. And happy birthday to Ys. Saturday, sentosa. Sunday, sibei sian at home until i go watch the boys play bball. And then some pig accompanied me for dinner @ Rvm. And then i saw a certain fucker. And then my mood gone. And then i received a text msg, someone angry me & nag me. And on msn, talking to you really makes my mood even sian zero. Especially your last sentence.

And if reading the above paragraph makes you wanna fall asleep, then don't bother reading the rest of the entry. Cus im actually so pissed off until i feel like punching somebody, anybody, until the person cease breathing! I am actually cursing and swearing while im typing this now. And it doesn't make it better that im missing someone so badly now, i don't know what the fuck for!

The angsty feeling inside me cannot be dissolved now. You know, when you have a sister like this, and a family like this, you certainly fucking don't need any enemies!

Burn, motherfuckers, burnnnnn!!!!!!!!

2009-10-31T11:55:00.004+08:00

Eh, Fuck You Lah!

fuck you and your mother cb nonsense okay. and by saying this, i'm already being very fucking polite to you.

2009-10-28T22:46:00.002+08:00

School these few days, i lead such a boring life now. Sad life, sighhhhhhh.

My emotions have been rather peaceful recently. I don't know what it is, maybe i'm just pushing whatever negative feelings away, don't wanna think about it, until it surfaces again. It's been 115 hours since our last conversation, and 7 days since i last saw you. I'm sorry, but i just have to do this.

I think im falling sick soon, been feeling very very tired recently. And drenched under the rain thrice in 2 days, confirm bound to fall sick one.

Some words i want to say, i have to say, but i just can't say it out anymore.

Baiz, xo.

lie beneath the stars, and love like never before

2009-10-24T02:10:00.002+08:00

Suddenly have got the urge to blog, but i don't know what to blog about. Haven't been in school for 3 days, i know..incorrigible of me. But sometimes, i really just feel like being alone. But no more of next time, till i graduate. Seriously can't wait to complete the damn course and graduate out of that school. Though i really don't know what i'm gonna do after graduating. Today my dad asked me when's my holidays.. when he already know that i've just finished my holidays recently. Cute right?

Met up with Kristy & Moses just now at bugis. Loitering around. Supposedly Ys too.. but sometimes shit happens. So yada yada, and then Huiyu & her bf came to meet us. And tcss for awhile, before going separate ways again.

Took 12 home, and i reached pasir ris interchange at 1am. Had to walk home, it's been long since i walked home in the middle of the night.. Felt rather scared, especially when i keep looking at the floor, and bloody cockroaches kept popping out of nowhere, scaring the fuck outta me.

Feeling kinda giddy now..i don't know why. Perhaps i smoke too much, and have been skipping meals regularly. Ha ha.

I don't know what kind of relationship i'm actually in now. Sometimes i feel that there's no concern, or maybe it's because you trust me too much, allowing me to go out with other people everyday. Or perhaps, you just don't wanna take us seriously. I really have no idea..

I'm wavering...between you and him. why oh why.

Its 2.30am now. should just go to bed, but no, im gonna watch my gossip girl ep 6 now. it's been downloaded in my computer since few days ago. off to watch now, baiz.

2009-10-23T00:04:00.002+08:00

這幾天幾乎好像在做夢似的﹐不知道什麼是真實的。雖然現在愛情獻身了﹐但我還是很害怕。。因為害怕自己陷得太投入﹐將來傷得更大。但我還是願意去試試﹐因為他就是我這兩個月一直以來都在等待的人。

有時我還真的不知到幹嗎要把自己弄成人不像人﹐鬼不像鬼似的。。有人問我為什麼要這樣傷害自己﹐我想了想﹐然後對他說﹐“可能我有被虐待狂症吧~”
其實我只是跟他開玩笑罷了。。但自己想了想﹐覺得還滿准的。。為何要這樣對待自己呢? 我自己也不知道。曾經有人對我說過﹐對別人好就是對自己殘忍。。幹嗎我每次要對自己那麼殘忍呢?

這幾天應為某些原因﹐都沒回家住在男朋友家了。。在那裡的短短幾天﹐雖然每天都很累﹐但還是滿開心的。。雖然某些東西讓我看穿了﹐也讓我感到十分傷心﹐但能夠看到他﹐我其實已經滿足了。

到底愛情是什麼? 我好像中毒了~

2009-10-11T23:02:00.005+08:00

im super tired to the max, red bull(s) also no use.
i don't wanna school to start tomorrow, super sad that school's starting already. :(
i need more holidays. thinking that school's starting tomorrow, my mood jitao sian 1/2 today.
go out also no mood. sianzzzzz.

been running off to JB for the past few days. it's like my second home. ya right.
lazy to type more, just pictures. combination of several days.

SIAN.

just so that you know

2009-10-06T11:05:00.003+08:00

Using my phone.
Hiatus. Hibernation period.
I'll on my phone occasionally to update Twitter.
Goodbye~

worlds apart, yet i just can't help it.

hello people

2009-10-04T22:15:00.001+08:00

I think i've lost the blogging mood, it might be awhile before i might blog daily again. Holidays are ending soon, i don't want it to end, although there's like tons of heartbreaks this holiday. Haven't been eating well recently, it's either one meal per day or none at all. But as usual, cigarettes still. Gastric has been the ultimate bitch recently, i absofuckinglutely hate the feeling/taste after puking. It's a pain in the ass.

4bia2 with the usual gang yesterday. 4bia2 was rather lame, it's the fucking sound effects that makes me cover my face and close my ears. And the last scene was damn hilarious. And then off to the pub again. Major gastric pain. The fucking smart me drank on an empty stomach, didn't eat for the whole day. So the wise me was puking and puking and still puking my guts out. Seriously, at fucking 5am i'm still puking. The gastric juices etc, it was seriously damn pain. Can feel my stomach clenching up and stuff. No more again...till the next time. Haha.

I haven't been going home on a regular basis lately, it's either i reach home in the wee hours, or i don't go home at all. And haven't been sleeping well too. It's like, i just can't be bothered with anything already. Life's been pretty mundane lately.

Been closing up with several people, and then going mia on them. I don't know why, guess i'm just afraid now. Have been given closure on several important matters, made some difficult decisions. It's gonna be a pretty bad time for me, for the next 5 months, at least. But no choice, who asked me to be so gullible and trust people easily? But still, fuck them upside down, seriously.

What would you do if i say i miss you when i don't get to see you?
What would you think if i say i'm afraid i like you?
Cause i really don't know the answer myself.

prince charming

2009-10-04T21:09:00.002+08:00

pictures!.

2009-09-30T15:01:00.002+08:00

im only uploading all these pictures now. the rest will be up on facebook or something. im rather lazy to blog, all details can be found on caixia's blog. these few days have been pretty crazy and hectic for me. ever since friday, i've been living on less than 5 hours of sleep per day or totally no sleep at all. i'm practically a walking zombie now, i need to sleep more!

chalet > cx hse > shisha > pub > family gathering > sakae sushi/suntec > hougang ton > cdc >home.

friday till tuesday.

nighty night. bbaiz.

new theory for "costing"

2009-09-22T20:11:00.000+08:00

【JON】- CRISIS! | happy birthday to all that come out on this day says (8:05 PM):

*OWIP: broken heart

*Mats Added: Love

*Normal Loss: $$/Time

*Abnormal Loss: sexual contact

*Finished Goods : baby

*CWIP: broken heart

Based on costing process format. Hilarious, but fucking true!

advert for a friend

2009-09-20T23:52:00.000+08:00

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Lessons in life

2009-09-20T15:37:00.004+08:00

* When someone lies to you, it teaches you that things are not always what they seem. The truth is often far beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks people wear if you want to know what is in their hearts. Remove your own masks to let people know who you really are.

* When someone steals from you it teaches you that nothing is forever. Always appreciate what you have. You never know when you might lose it. Never take your friends or family for granted, because today and sometimes only this very moment is the only guarantee you may have.
* When someone inflicts injury upon you, it teaches you that the human state is a very fragile one. Protect and take care of your body as best as you can, it’s the one thing that you are sure to have forever.
* When someone mocks you, it teaches you that no two people are alike. When you encounter people who are different from you, do not judge them by how they look or act, instead base it on the contents of what is in their hearts.
* When someone breaks your heart, it teaches you that loving someone does not always mean that the person will love you back. But don’t turn your back on love, because when you find the right person, the joy that one person brings you will make up for all of your past hurts. Times a thousand fold.
* When someone holds a grudge against you, it teaches you that everyone makes mistakes. When you are wronged, the most virtuous thing you can do is forgive the offender without pretense. Forgiving those who have hurt us is often the most difficult and painful of life’s experiences, but it is also the most courageous thing a person can do.
* When a loved one is unfaithful to you, it teaches you that resisting temptation is man’s greatest challenge. Be vigilant in your resistance against all temptations. By doing so, you will be rewarded with an enduring sense of satisfaction far greater than the temporary pleasure by which you were tempted.
* When someone cheats you, it teaches you that greed is the root of all evil. Aspire to make your dreams come true, no matter how lofty they may be. Do not feel guilty about your success, but never let an obsession with achieving your goals lead you to engage in malevolent activities.
* When someone ridicules you, it teaches you that nobody is perfect. Accept people for their merits and be tolerant of their flaws. Do not ever reject someone for imperfections over which they have no control.
* When someone loves us, it teaches us love, kindness, charity, honesty, humility, forgiveness, acceptance, and all of these can counteract all the evil in the world. For every good deed, there is one evil deed. Man alone has the power to control the balance between good and evil, but because the lessons of love are not taught often enough, the power is too often abused.
* When you enter someone’s life, whether by plan, chance or coincidence, consider what your lesson will be. Will you teach love or a harsh lesson of reality? When you die, will your life have resulted in more loving or more hurting? More comfort or more pain? More joy or more sadness? Each one of us has the power over the balance of the love in the world. Use it wisely!

(via papertissue)

it's been miserable

2009-09-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

10425.) One text from you can make my whole day better. This is how I know we should probably never see each other or talk again. I can not rely on you for the rest of my life to make me happy and be miserable when you give me nothing. I need to learn how to make myself happy without you.
(via blogsecret)

I'm going cold turkey on you.

slow and steady

2009-09-15T17:43:00.003+08:00

even though i know i can't trust you, even though i'm afraid that history will repeat itself,
i just can't stop myself from thinking of you.

nothing more important than this

2009-09-15T11:14:00.003+08:00

10391.) I feel like I need the approval of everyone around me. That if they don't approve of something I do, then they will change their opinion of me entirely.
(via blogsecret)

Yesterday was almost a very nice day, with no stress, no problems. Visited the silly boy, and things were going on fine until Alvin texted me again and again. I really don't know what he want from me. I think his ultimate motive is to make me go crazy.

Gastric acting up again. Ordered mac at silly boy's ystd. But it was a wasted meal. I only managed to finish the nuggets, and it was down in the toilet bowl after few minutes. Gastric was so painful i feel like banging the wall.

Am having a sore throat now. And my whole body is aching. I don't know why too. And i lack of sleep, major big time. I know i have to put some effort this holiday, revising my aa1. Cus i have no doubt i failed it. Sianz ttm right.

Shall bath and head off to the post office now! Baiz.

disgusting creature

2009-09-13T21:18:00.005+08:00

you know who you are,

I don't know if you'll get to see this, but I wanna tell you that you're one mother fucking top liar, and that I am really blind to have been with you, even if it's just for a short while. Lucky I broke up with you before finding out this shit. Or else I really would've died right on the spot. Even if you want to two time, then do it properly. Maybe you think you've covered your tracks well, but guess what? If you've told me right from the start, then i wouldn't mind at all. But you just kept on lying. On friday, when that girl came to message me on her own, i knew you were nothing good already. And we realised we've both been had. And then you play MIA, you're just a fucking coward who don't have the guts to face us after your bubble has been popped. To think I was just this close to forgiving you. Lucky I didn't. And to think that I thought I was the one to blame all along, making you miserable cus I wasn't understanding enough, cus I wasn't a good girlfriend to you. You make me so ashamed of myself, for having such "good" judgment. Thank you so much for the memories, be it good or bad. Goodbye.

it's making me insane

2009-09-13T20:50:00.005+08:00

10271.) I'm still in love with this guy, we were dating before but then we decided to remain as friends. So he is one of my closest friends. After a month I had boyfriend then I realized that I don’t love my boyfriend and it’s just a big mistake so I decided to broke up with him. The only reason why I broke up with my boyfriend is because of the guy I really love and he knows that. We don’t admit it but I know, he knows what I feel for him.
(via blogsecret)

10330.) Part of me wants to make him fall in love with me only as a revenge. Part of me can't do it, because I truly love him.
(via blogsecret)

exact same situation with *, but instead of a month, it was 2 weeks.
currently in hibernation and self destruction mode. fucking hate myself so much, can't describe the amount of loathe i have for myself. and i desperately want to leave Sg! like, i think of it so badly every constant minute, it's making me even more miserable.

baiz.

2009-09-10T09:27:00.002+08:00

Holidays have arrived!!!! :D And no one can be happier than me, this mother fucker slacker! Yeah yeah whatever.

AA1 exam yesterday, only one word to describe. Failure. I woke up super early to go school meet Ms quah & Lina study. And then Xinfang, Kailin, Daud & Jon came to the library too. Major cram session. Memorised, and yet when i stepped into the exam hall, i fucking forget everything. Too much for me to take within one day already. And fever came to visit me again. Like wtf. Holiday only cfm sick one.

Rushed home, went to do my stuffs, and then V drove me to jeremin's hse to visit him. That silly boy's injuries are horrendous. His mummy was nagging at him to stop smoking for the period, and i didn't know that until she saw him smoking and nagged. Makes me feel guilty for passing him cigs. Lucky she don't know i was the one who hung up the phone on her that day. :/

Then off to meet bb ken till now. Yeah i just reached home. That silly boy wore his no.4 uniform out to meet me, cus he've to go attend a course today morning. Am super tired actually, but i'm just gonna go bath, and then i gotta go admiralty already.

Don't understand why teenage guys like to have mood swings damn alot. A's being a ridiculous ass again!!

ok bbaiz.

2009-09-08T11:50:00.001+08:00

Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. Letting go doesn’t mean we shut down. Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave. It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment. It means we stop trying to do the impossible — controlling that which we cannot and instead, focus on what is possible.

: ifwordscankill

2009-09-07T21:27:00.003+08:00

Dear Alexa Angie, below are your PSYCHOLOGY PERSONALITY test result:

You love the crowd... a party animal! Too many “friends”, you can’t easily tell which among them is real and not...

You’re usually expressive... Open about your emotions and most of the time willing to talk about it.

You search for love... you’re a hopeless romantic and every time you enter a relationship, you give your all and believe “this is the One.”

You have so many ideas in mind... You’re creative and aggressive! If you want something, you’ll do anything to get it!

You’re a stubborn sweetheart... You “love” him/her only because he/she loves you. If his/her flame puts out, you let go with no trouble.

You’re undoubtedly good-natured! Most of the time, people are confident to approach you because they know you will consider them.

You love actions... with the hero-like taste! You focus on your strengths and use them to protect persons/things that are important to you.

--

am so mega fucking pissed now. who the fuck you think you are?! i don't fucking owe you anything okay, you don't fucking come and give me this kind of attitude and lousy answers.

today is one of the worst fucking lousy day for me, everrrrrr. and tiring. my neck feels stiff, my head feels heavy, my eyes keep wanna close like that. and my brains. feels like i never bring my brains out today at all! ciyun knows why. seriously can cry out loud man knn. she also say can faint already. :(

and i guess i've been dreaming these few days. and living on false hopes. fuck false hopes. it's a fucking terrible feeling. don't come giving me bullshit and nonsense unless you are a victim of 'false hopes' too.

really need to get back to reality. i've been drifting and drifting too far away.. really seriously. living on no man's island.

and the amount of cigarettes i smoke per day. imagine 1 stick of marlboro menthol has 13mg of tar. so i have like at least 200+ mg of tar in my body each day. yesterday in total, i have 364mg of tar in my body. like wtf i know. think i'm gonna go cold turkey soon. hope i can do it.

i need to go fuck myself verbally now. cb bbaiz.

giving you up for freedom

2009-09-06T01:55:00.003+08:00

i'm back to clear the cobwebs now..

been rather busy recently, studying. yes me, the motherfucker slacker studying. focusing on costing, and i guess i'm okay with it now. only aa1 for me to worry about now. totally headache.

been spending my day and night outside. ton sessions at airport/ecp studying. and i've been awake for 45 hours!!!! yes i know im crazy. but who cares anyway...

went out to meet A for awhile, but it was a fucked up short meet up. and i totally cannot take it anymore, i called for time out. and so officially, it's time out for us i guess? it's been so fucked up i don't know anything can be salvaged anymore.

just finished talking on the phone with silly boy.. he's so poor thing, being hospitalised and stuff. he was complaining about the lousy hospital food, and facing 4 walls for 24 hours everyday.. and not being to walk, needless to say, ride his bike. he'll be discharged on tuesday earliest. and i can't wait for it.

exam's will be officially over on wednesday! and i can't wait for exams to be over asap. so i can go visit him again and again. was actually feeling quite fucked up before silly boy called me.. but now im feeling much better, especially when he makes me laugh. first time someone use hospital phone to call me and talk for an hour plus. ahaha, no choice cus his phone was smashed during the accident.

okay now as i look at the screen, and type words, it looks like the words are getting blurry and flying all over the screen. my eyes are tired, my whole body is extremely tired now.. super duper tired to the max.

im falling asleep while typing now. bbaiz.

wake me up when september ends.

2009-09-01T18:40:00.002+08:00

Happy teacher's day!!!! And Happy bday to my sister too.

Have been at home the whole day, and i only managed to do 1 pathetic costing question, and it's still incomplete cus i know nuts about secondary apportionment now. :( really feel like banging myself against the wall, ya i know i ought to.

Been feeling veryyyy restless lately, and totally no motivation at all. Idk wtf am i actually doing nowadays. Sighsxz.

I'm craving for sambal seafood fried rice now. Idk why, nowadays i suddenly have alot of cravings.. and yet i can't seem to finish my meals every time. Waste money waste time only. Sambal seafood fried riceeeeeeeee, yummy :(

Feel like sleeping now, but nonono. If i sleep now, tonight cfm cannot sleep. Then tmrw cfm gone case again. Back to costing :/

baiz.

we're all mad here

2009-08-31T20:58:00.006+08:00

taken on saturday at the airport. i couldn't concentrate at all.

Saturday
wanted to chill at esplanade, but it was damn crowded due to baybeats. so headed to marina instead. chilled till 11plus, before WW came to find me. Kristy & Moses headed off, and WW brought me on a tour around marina's carpark, finding his bike. That silly ass don't even know where he parked his bike. Found it after half an hour. Headed to his uncle's hse at tpy after tt. And then off home @ 3am. Tired to the max.

Baby's being an ass lor, quarrel with me everytime. But luckily now everything's cool between us again. Hehe. Can't wait for him to book out, i haven't seen him for 6 days already! :(

Today i had a tour from pasir ris-tamp-simei thanks to a cab driver. From my hse to school, 20bucks, inclusive of peak hr charge. But still, daylight robbery pls! But i was too shagged to argue with the cab driver already.

Reached school at 9am. Had 2 hours counselling, and then off for costing for around half an hr? And then back home. Kinda wasted i know, but no choice.

Today's session was really stressful. And im still thinking about it now. Really feel like screaming my lungs out.

Need.to.study.like.NOW.

Happy teacher's day for all teachers out there tmrw!!!!!
xoxo

don't feel like losing you

2009-08-23T18:59:00.004+08:00

One of the worst bout of fever. My health's been a turmoil of mess, screwing me up over and over again.. And in a blink of eye, 1 week mc is ending soon. I only have monday left.. No more dreaming, no more living in my own world, it's gonna be back to harsh reality again.

I have a decision to make now. To drop or not to drop. And i've been thinking, i realised i've been wasting my time all along.. I don't know what i've been doing for the past 1 year plus. It's really time to fucking wake up from everything, and look carefully.

Been staying home for the past 5 days, the damn medications make me so fucking drowsy. And mood haven't been good for the past few days. Why am i so fucking stupid? Anyway, didn't really step out of the house, except to meet A for few hours on friday night. I don't really know who i exactly am loving now. And it doesn't really matter to me now. Cus life's too short to worry about relationship matters now.

I miss the girls, haven't seen them ever since tuesday. And i'm sorry to those people whom i said no, when they asked me out. Really wasn't in the mood these few days.. Things are gonna get busy once i return to school.. i really have to buck up already! And meetings with the counsellor/teachers. Sighsxz.

Haven't got the mood to online & talk to people recently. I have people texting me asking me why haven't i been online these few days.. lol. I guess everyone's used to seeing me online everyday without fail, especially on msn.

I miss the silly boy, but whatever that happened between him & me is just a game, something we both agreed on. And now A's back, no more games. Aiyoooooooooooo.

KKie bbaiz.

2009-08-20T08:11:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i really hate myself for being so stupid or rather, too 'smart' for my own fucking good. why the fuck do i have to ruin everything myself? it was going on just a little nice..and now it's going nowhere. i fucking fucking regret saying that out, no one can ever imagine how much i'm regretting now. i wish there's a backspace button in life, and i could erase back to a few days ago. i'd happily give up everything, even my life, to go back to a few days ago. :(

Things haven't been going well for me at all lately. I am so fucking stressed and i can't talk to anyone about it. It's getting so bad i cry in the middle of the night again, or i wake up punching my fists against the wall. I find myself awake at 4am, and i can't sleep anymore.

My life is seriously so fucking screwed, i don't think it should be even labeled as a life anymore. I seriously can't think anymore.

2009-08-18T20:39:00.003+08:00

I think i must have really been cursed, how could i fall sick like so many times just within 2 months? :( it's killing me seriously. and this is the worst ever. fever at 39deg.. coughing fits, and body aching. and temperature's rising, i know cus i took my temp every few hours. doc gave me 1 week mc again.. but the bad thing is, exam's arriving. :( FML.

I miss the silly silly boy :(((((((

fml.com

2009-08-17T14:43:00.002+08:00

I am sick again..having a fever & cough. i've been coughing non stop, it's making me go crazy. I think i need tons of vitamins seriously. :(

I'm all alone at home now, the sky is damn dark, and it's so fucking cold. Blasting the music, talking on phone with silly boy. It's mid 2pm now, and i still have not eaten anything.. Lonely, so lonely.

2009-08-17T04:08:00.002+08:00

Been busy these few days.. moses's belated birthday celebration @ punggol marina cc pub yesterday.. am waiting for the pics from lynette. and been meeting this silly boy till the wee hours. it's 4am now, and i just got home. and i have school in a few hours time.. me is tired, but me like. :> i'd rather be busy and deprived of sleep, than being bored and doing nth.

gastric's been a motherfucking bitch lately.. sometimes i wish the gastric will just kill me, and get it over and done with. i miss someone now :> idk why lei, but that silly boy is getting into my heart slowly..

goodnight bbaiz.

fuck you upside down

2009-08-14T05:12:00.005+08:00

It's 5Am now, why am i awake at such ungodly hours? well, i haven't slept at all, that's it. I am currently so fucking pissed off i feel like banging the wall, shouting down the whole block, and i don't even fucking care if i wake everyone who's still asleep!

deleted!!!

And i am really fucking stupid sia. I really waited. o.o From now on, i'm not going to wait for you, no. I'm not going to care about you already. Uber angry.

And my nose is so painful now, it hurts whenever i breathe deep/yawn. FML.

I'm not sleepy now, it's 530am. Fuck the irregular sleeping hours. howhowhow. diediedie.

/edit

Been awake for 39 hours and counting. Am trying to see what's my limit.
Baiz.

1+1 doesn't always equals to 2.

2009-08-12T12:40:00.003+08:00

Feel so sorry, Baby i'm so sorry
I never meant, I never meant to hurt you.

helluva night, i don't know why i've been so so tired lately. it's like as if i'm on drugs lately, i don't even know what i'm doing lately. and i don't seem to care anymore.. i know this will turn out bad.

Stressed out with a capital S! with several stuffs and events that's coming my way now. Desperately need the Moolahs with a capital M! well well who doesn't need it anyway.

i'm always sleeping at ungodly hours now. i slept at 5am. woke up at 6am when i received text messages. and then i slept till 8am. and woke up when A wanted to go to the doc's to take mc for the rest of the week. But we quarreled over fucking stupid stuffs. and i went back to sleep at 10am...and it's 1pm now. i wish i can have uninterrupted sleep for at least 24 hours. cus ever since last friday, i've been sleeping at the earliest 4am. i feel like i'm a living zombie now.

One major argument makes my whole emotional state turns to jelly, now i'm doubting. i don't know if you're the one for me. i know i'm fickle minded, i know i'm indecisive. i know i know i know.

take me away..take me to your wonderland.

you're the one for me.

2009-08-11T20:56:00.006+08:00

I am super duper tired now, i sat infront of the laptop and fell asleep for 1 hr after i reached home. All the way till someone called me. Ah i'm so in love with someone now wtf. Never thought love could be this nice. :>

Kbox today with xian jie & xia mei. HAHAHAH. Sang until we're all crazy, till we're all so tired out. Some kbox guy gave us free drinks & food, he treated us. lol. And adding the foods from the normal student package, enough to stuff our tummyz till can die already.

J's being a pig today, and A's been eating vinegar recently. I'm so tired, my tummy hurtz now. Imma call boy later, i miss him lei :<

love is you and me?

2009-08-10T18:17:00.007+08:00

Happy belated National Day people! & Happy Birthday Singapore!!

Slept at 5am today because of A, and woke up at 9am. me is so tired, but i don't mind ♥

someone's a pig seriously, been sleeping for 12 hours already omg.

Twitter is seriously being a bitch now, couldn't update using my laptop. And now, i can't update using phone. It take turns to irritate me >:{

i miss A now. ♥

/edit 8.30pm

i'm so bored now, surfing the world wide web aimlessly! i've been to one and every of my favourite haunts in the www already! and i'm still so bored. :<>

my face lights up and my heart skips a beat whenever i receive his texts nowadays.. i don't know whether he's the right one for me..but i'll just take a risk? someone requested that i spend tomorrow morning with him cus he's going back to camp during the late afternoon. but i've got school, so sad. h8 going to school to the max? i feel like spending the day with him but the parental and advisory units will be bound to nag at me non stop again and again. so i guess i've got no choice :<

im gonna continue texting him naow, so baiz.

booboo

2009-08-08T19:43:00.005+08:00

Blogger's been a bitch, and i don't actually have the mood to update much. But i thought i'll just clear the cobwebs, for now..

Met up with Kristy & Lynette at bugis for shisha/chilling session ystd. And Kristy's friend, Eugene also met up with us at haji lane. To our usual destination, merdandy cafe. website's here. Chilling was good, except the new rule of the singapore govt is dampening our mood for shisha. Read about it here. Totally dampened my mood yesterday.

Alcohol, shisha & cigs yesterday. for like 7 hours. Totally a let's get intoxicated session. Daud was also there with his cousins. And Yongliang met us at around 1am plus. Chilled for awhile more, before we left.

Was supposed to go heeren to meet up with A, he was at some thai disco. But i was rather pissed off with him, so i asked J to give me a ride home. His bike was super high, and rather inconvenient for me, cus i was wearing a skirt. But i managed it. it was fun, i like the wind blowing against my hair actually. It was rather fun, that's why i'd always prefer bikes to cars.

And i'm having major gastric today. Cus i stupidly had alcohol on empty stomach yesterday. Feels like i've been on a roller coaster ride recently. Too much to say, yet i can't say it out.

Been avoiding my counsellor and teachers lately, i don't know why too. I feel so...fucked up?

I realised..i'm really afraid to get into another relationship already. I trust too easily, and fall too easily too. Even if i like the guy, i still can't trust him fully. What should i really do?

And it's torturing, waiting for a "1 new message received" from that certain someone. And checking the phone for it. And what's even more torturing is that, "xx new message received" and yet none of it is from the person you actually longed for.

Ehz, i going krazy already lor. Sighsxz. Ok baiz.

2009-08-04T21:29:00.002+08:00

i went to school today, merely 2 hours. but still. i went to school. haha. i realised i'm really way far back in my studies already, gotta buck up already. i need tons of motivation and determination now, which i always lack of.

headed to tamp mall after school with hui xian & yong liang. finally bought another hp lanyard. im still waiting for the pink one to be out!!!! pizza hut for lunch. not much appetite, probably because i've been ill these few days..

anyway wo yao tattoo. shall start looking for a tattoo artist now. ok baiz.

2009-08-03T16:17:00.003+08:00

i don't know what to do. this situation have been bugging me for several days. i've been really sick these few days, so i have not been thinking about it. but i don't think it can be delayed anymore..

fuck it lahz, you shouldn't have come back at all. i don't care, maybe i'm heartless, maybe i'm cold blooded. but i just don't want you to make my life even more messier than it is now. when you chose to leave, then just leave. don't ever look back.

why must you come back now? you make me feel so lousy about myself, about everything and everyone. can someone tell me what to do? i hate crying.

anyway, just ate my meds. making me so drowsy, about to fall asleep soon. both my sisters are sick now, thanks to me. :/ yeah im a germ spreader now >:o

stay away from me pipolz.

bbaiz.

2009-08-02T16:58:00.003+08:00

yanie & me. sometime last week i think. before aa1 exam.

im feeling like marshmallow now, no strength to really do anything. :<
i wanna recover asap pls.
i wanna go out go out go out.

school tmrw again. sick of this stupid routine already lah!!!

baiz.

F135 Angie tan.

2009-07-31T15:33:00.007+08:00

I am sick again. yeah i know like wtf right. I went to the polyclinic just now, had to wear a mask while waiting for my turn. this time, don't really have to wait damn long? cus i was directed to the 'fever clinic' immediately. 6 different types of meds. 18 pills per day. i think i've spent the whole month of july being sick. and swallowing pills. 3 doctors in a month. arghhhhh.

had a good afternoon nap just now, and had maggie mee for dinner. having period cramps now. and meds making me drowsy.

one of the worst month ever. really having soooo many crappy shits happening this month. some unbelievable stuffs.

dont ask me what it is. if you know, you know. if you don't, don't ask.

goodnight world.

2009-07-28T23:01:00.002+08:00

Why did you come back now?
Since it's been years, it doesn't really matter whether you are here or not.

I wish you never came back, or that i didn't know about it.
Now, i'm suffering.

getaway needed badly

2009-07-28T09:28:00.003+08:00

things are getting a little out of hand here.
there's too many matters to settle, and there's only one me.
and i can only take so much.

there's so much to say, and yet no words to describe it.
it's really going in circles, and i'm tired of it.

trying to be happy, trying to be a regular school girl.
but it's not working out at all.

i feel...suppressed, devoid of emotions now.
i am just yet another empty shell.

and like i've said many times, i need a goddamn break.
i really need to get away from all these shit, away from this country.
i need a new life..with no strings attached.

i yearn to wake up everyday..
knowing that i'll be happy and carefree.
knowing that there's no need for me to be responsible and act like i'm an adult,
living in a _________ family, having to look after everyone cus i'm the eldest.

it's damn tiring, i feel weighted down everyday.
it's like im walking in cuffs, there's no way i can fly.

can't i just have a fucking break from all these?
even if it's just for a few days.

words mean nothing

2009-07-27T20:46:00.004+08:00

yes, i'm going krazy, thanks to some fuckers.
lazy to explain further.

she looks so gorgeous here.

both sisters are being a huge bitch now.
i could definitely use a break now.
baiz.

negative point zero

2009-07-26T00:38:00.002+08:00

Met up with Yanie at elias mall at 430pm, supposed to study at elias mac, but she wanted to go downtown. so we walked to my hse to take my ezlink. then we walked back to elias, i bought stationery, and then i realised my gladiators was spoilt, so we walked back to my hse again for me to change. And then we met up with Daud at dte, and instead of studying at dte, we went to loyang point mac instead. it was like 1hour plus spent on travelling.

Seaweed shaker fries rockkkkkk baby.
And poor daud, came all the way from bukit batok to loyang point just to eat mac before he had to leave for his family gathering. Yanie and me studied till 9pm, before i lost the mood to study because of something. feeling rather sick too.

Anyway my dad will be changing all the house locks at home sometime soon, like asap. Cus of what happened today. Serious what the fuck man. And my dad wrote for us the Neighbourhood police post number, in case something like this happen again. Seriously am afraid to leave the house now.

I wanted to upload pictures today, but my stupid sister took my cable and lent it to her stupid friend, so annoying.

i have no confidence for the upcoming papers on monday and wednesday.
and you, you make me doubt myself, lowering my self confidence and esteem.
what should i do about you boy?

01am now, i think i shall go read my book and sleep.
goodnight world.
baiz

adventures in the airport

2009-07-24T08:50:00.002+08:00

it's 9 am now, and i just got home like 2 hours ago only. was at the airport with Krispy Kristy (hahahaha!) the whole night, studying. and i'm still like totally energetic now. i was like so hot and yet cold at the airport, even when it started raining. and the countless smoking breaks, leaving our stuffs all on the table, and us going down for smokey smoke.

now i know that the t1's foodcourt will be playing indian/tamil music from 2am - 5am. it was so irritating, it's like only one song, and it's on repeat mode for 3 hours!? & the cheeko airport staff who kept on looking at us. and smiling at us. and tay hui xian who wanted to go for a walk and leaving me alone with that airport staff sitting at the table opposite us, looking at me study. annoying yet funny.

and kristy's overpriced prawn noodles with only 2 prawns, and my fishball soup with 8 hard fish ballz & fishcakes, and one of 'em fishball was actually a 'bed' for a certain good life fly. and i only ate like 3 fishball, leaving the rest to the rubbish bin.

oh yeah, we encountered a lady who pronounced lime as 'lamb'.
"can i have more lamb?" for her mee siam.
omg it was fucking hilarious, we started laughing immediately. and laughed all the way till we were at the counter paying for our overpriced food, and all the way till we finished eating. okay mainly it was me laughing, and making a joke out of it.

trained home, and i thought i'd be tired and fall asleep immediately. but until now, i'm actually still wide awake, and pretty hungry. but i had like overpriced fishball soup at 0530, so i don't know if i should actually cook maggie mee or what.

im actually craving for some seaweed shakerrrr fries! but it's too early now thou. okay i shall go read my Jodi Picoult's Salem Falls now and force myself to sleep.

baiz.

school, finally

2009-07-21T22:15:00.005+08:00

went to school today, just 2 hours. and i'm actually drained out, idk why. :<
after sch went to t1, bought Subway home, like finally again.

and i managed to print some pictures.
finally im updating my wall of photos again.

slept for 4 hours after that. all the way till 6pm.
totally damn shag.

i'm currently having some problems, am so damn stressed about it.
sighhhhh.

sometimes it's hard to....

ok bbaiz

popping pills

2009-07-20T18:55:00.002+08:00

hey humans.
im back here again, cus i can't bear to leave. yeah yeah go on saying about how damn indecisive i am, yada yada. but still, im back here.

after resting for soooo many days at home, im actually eager to go back to school! cus i'm like so damn bored at home, there's absolutely nothing to do 'cept going online, online and still online. i know i might regret saying im eager to go school, but yeah. i'm supposed to have plenty of rest, but it seems like my sleeping hours are still the same, screwed.

i've been thinking. life is really very fragile. let's say, if i really did have the h1n1 virus, and die, what will happen to those around me? like my family members and friends? i still have many tasks yet to accomplish, and many wishes not fulfilled. imagine that.

i don't know why i'm saying all these. it just pop out in my mind suddenly. well anyway, i'm gonna pop the meds and then eat my dinner or something. and have a look at process costing. i'm so lagging behind everything.

ok baiz.

boring stuffs as usual baby

2009-07-16T20:13:00.004+08:00

ohai.
i went out of the house today, for a few hours. went to caixia's hse after they ended school. hui xian jie help us to dye our hair, and cut my long hair & fringes. so now i feel like i have short hairrrrr, thou it's still long? lol. and say hi to kuku fringe again, haha.

am still sick? and im sick of being sick!!!! forgive the pun. but seriously. eat the medicines and i have no strength to do anything. don't eat the medicines and my fever comes back almost immediately with a damn sorex10 throat. what is this man -_-

i havent been updating lately because i cannot leave the hse? later go out spread germs to other people how? so i've been isolating myself actually. :( i told kristy & caixia to go eat more vitamins and fruits. cus im scared i'll spread the germs to them :/

okay and im sneezing non stop now. like wtf. feels as if the flu is actually coming naowzzzzz. :S

and oh yeah, costing exam tmrw. yeahhhhh. ok baiz.

(L) mr c.

2009-07-14T15:58:00.003+08:00

I went to the doctor ystd, it caused me 50 freaking bucks. But i got a few days mc though. and tons of medications to complete. The doctor was soooo witty -.- he asked me if i wanted simei ite to close down. cus apparently i only went to the doc after like 6 days of fever. like hell yeah i know. but the fever's been like up and down. how would i know.

and i went to collect medications today again. like sigh. and on the way back, i talked to fahiq on the phone. and he actually made me realised something. he was right, i changed way too much, i don't even know myself anymore. i don't know who i am anymore. i need to find myself back. but the thing is, what makes me myself? i don't even have the answers to that question. so tell me...who am i?

i forgot to take my medicine again. and i've not eaten anything today at all. just cigarettes. and it's 4pm now. sigh like wtf i know.

im on mc tmrw. so bye.

2009-07-10T18:57:00.004+08:00

They want me. I want you. And you want someone else. But none of us want to turn around. -quoted from here

okay here to update.
costing exam yesterday, but i didn't manage to do the paper. cus i was sent home right before the paper due to fever. been having fever these few days, it's been on and off. damn irritating man. and diarrhea in the middle of the night. seriously can die. :(

i don't like awkward situations, like now. :(

2009-07-08T14:51:00.010+08:00

I’ve never understood the reasoning for someone to “move on” from a relationship. It’s not like you are really going to “move on”, you are just trying to tell your heart to stop thinking about that person every second of every minute of every day until it finally becomes a routine and you don’t notice it anymore. That is, until you see that person again, with someone who isn’t you, and then you have to remind yourself again.

credits: quotewhore

don't you think it's true?

------

black and white. and sometimes there's grey too. there's just absolutely no one who's really pure, there're always mixtures. just like colours. black and white equates to grey. and grey is just...grey? you can never separate it back into 2 colours.

okay i don't know why i'm saying all this shit.

bye

megan fox, optimus prime & bumble bee!!!

2009-07-07T18:57:00.002+08:00

this movie is da bomb. i didn't expect it to be good actually, but i was so damn wrong. can't wait to catch it on dvd. feel like catching it on screen next week again.

okay im damn tired, though its just school for 2 hours.

im gonna go off now.

bye.

this is the end.

2009-07-06T21:47:00.004+08:00

Didn't go to school today. Met daud at white sands. After that, met Kristy at toa payoh with Jiajun and his friends. Slacked, watched them play snooker while Kristy and me rot. lol. Wasn't feeling that well towards the end of the day. Vomited. stomach acid and white liquid, which Kristy said was carbon dioxide!? Felt so high, giddy like fuck. -.-

Gonna go school tmrw. sian to the max.

Fucking Failure.

words words words

2009-07-05T11:54:00.002+08:00

I know it's been really boring in here, cus i totally lack the motivation to update at all. I can't believe i'm saying this, but now i actually find it pointless to blog without pictures!? And yeah, i've been in hibernation mode this week, so didn't really go out at all.

I realise i always go through phases. And it's a goddamn cycle that i can't seem to break out of it. Maybe it's just my way of handling stuffs that are too much for me to take. There's a period of time whereby i'll keep going out everyday, making myself dead tired and reaching home in the wee hours. And then, i'll just hibernate myself again..maybe say a week. And then the cycle starts again. And yes, my sleeping hours get screwed up again. Insomnia's back. hoo-ray.

And i've been lazy, haven't been working for the past 1 week. Damn sick of the people & environment there.

School's starting tmrw, and im absolutely not prepared at all. I haven't been doing any of the assignments, except costing. Argh the 3 weeks have passed too fast!!!!! I need more holidaysss. Just thinking of school tmrw is making my mood down down down.

Yesterday someone shocked me tremendously. He told me i was his first love, first kiss & first relationship. And the first girl that he ever brought home. Tell me how can i not be shocked!? Okay although the relationship ended like 4 years ago, we're still good friends now. I'm just shocked because i'm too jaded for too many first(s).

I don't feel like going back to school tmrw :S wo tao yan shang xue. >:o|

okie bye.

2009-06-30T21:34:00.002+08:00

school for the last two days, damn tired siol. and abit lazy to update. i think i twitter more than i update this pathetic blog.

and when im bored, i take pictures. sian arhz

lovely company

2009-06-29T19:20:00.007+08:00

Okay i'm back to update. it's been a week. have been busy working, barely had time to sleep, let alone blog. okay i admit im lazy too, hahah.

shisha @ haji lane yesterday.

apple mint flavour, cigs, fries, nuggets, bucket of heineken & lovely company.

it was a rather mellow session because all of us were already damn tired due to work/school. especially love yesterday's atmosphere. rnb/pop music blasting, relaxing just like this. if only everyday would be like this, damn nice.

pictures are not in order. all of us parted at around 11, and then i headed off to meet R for second round! he fetched me from pasir ris, and then drove to pasir ris park. star gazing. tcss session.

but alas, i got drunk. damn dead drunk he had to send me home. :S

and today im having the most goddamn hangover ever! seriously feel like im swaying & gonna puke any time. worst thing, i had to wake up early to attend lesson today. and i kept complaining to kailin im dying soon. lol.

& i finally replaced my atm card alr! the bank's queue was so damn long, lucky kailin accompanied me. had my all time favourite Subway, and then headed home. and i slept...all the way from 4pm to 7pm.

tmrw i still gotta go school again. sibei siansxz.

can't wait for shisha session next week again.

it doesn't matter if you say i'm heartless, cold blooded or whatever shit. cus i know, i'll never like you. i don't wanna lead you on a wild chase anymore. it's tiring, for both you and me. and you know that i've already got someone inside my heart.

meanwhile, it's just mind games. it's not only me, everyone's been playing love mind games. love will always be a mind game, it's either you win or lose. i've won some and lost some. and i understand how it feels to lose mind games. but yeah, just get over it E. cus the more you kpkb, the more irritated i'll be.

okay end of long post. till the next time i update....ciao. hahah.

2009-06-21T18:21:00.008+08:00

okay it's been a few days since i last updated.

tons of stuffs have happened within these few days and i haven't had the time to update. furthermore, i'm absolutely not in the mood to update anything too. cus it took me 2hr+ to upload the pictures!!! Idk what's wrong with the connection/blogger lately.

Anyway,

wednesday

jb trip
overnight drinking session

thursday

east coast kite flying session
haji lane shisha

friday

work
bugis steamboat
tonning/mustafa centre/prata

this is what i've been doing since wednesday.

I'm lazy to put captions for the pictures. There's work tmrw, have to wake up damn early, like 5am? School and work, can't decide which one is more worse.

part of the foodies.

and finally, i'm freed from hell, seriously thank god. although i don't feel good about this, i know this is the best for both you and me. i still miss you, and yet i feel bitter about every single fucking shit that happened. i know i have been blind, everyone says that to me now. because of you. okay enough of emotional shit.

i haven't been sleeping well lately. i was basically in my own world on saturday. reached home at 7am. and then drifting on and off to lala land. taking wrong orders etc. basically so dead on saturday. can't afford to sleep late already.

i started this entry at 630pm. and it's now 930pm. now remind me why i keep delay blogging? okie am gonna go sleep soon. bye.

2009-06-16T10:56:00.002+08:00

Rascal Flatts - What hurts the most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then
And just let 'em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I'm ok, but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was trying to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you every where I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder
Gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret, but I know
If I could do it over
I would trade, give away, show the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

---

the right song for my current mood.

been rather busy now. and am hurting badly now. i can't wait for tmrw, finally getting out of singapore. i need a getaway, even if it's for a day.

the silence is unbearable.

i've been living on red bull, water and cigarettes. no food at all. and i have no feelings.

okie FML bye.

enlightened

2009-06-14T11:04:00.001+08:00

i feel like i've been living in a nightmare for the past 3 days. really demon from hell! i hope i'm freed, for real. cus i really can't take it anymore.

i love janice tan.

2009-06-13T19:56:00.002+08:00

yesterday was a huge bitch, and i only got home at 12pm today. considering the fact that i slept at 4am on thursday and woke up early in the morning on friday.. all the way till today 12pm.

i'm going crazy, i cannot take it anymore. im seriously losing my appetite. i haven't eaten anything for the entire day, and i don't feel hungry at all.

i realised i'm always like this when i'm stressed.

i need janice tan now. sighsxz.

2009-06-12T19:55:00.001+08:00

It's the last day of school today, before June holidays officially start. My first week is already quite packed. Should be happy and looking forward to it. But.. idk.

I don't know how to describe yesterday. It's too private already, I'll update that in livejournal instead. :(

my feelings are in a total mess today. i don't feel like eating anything at all recently, i just feel like dropping dead.

i don't like this feeling that i'm having now. i don't even know how to describe it. it's hurting me badly. i want to cry but the tears can't seem to flow out anymore.

cancelled my plans for tonight, am not feeling that well. i just had my first meal of the day, it's 7.47pm now. was forced to eat, or else my dad will nag again. if not, i wouldn't even want to eat anything.

what am i supposed to do now? i don't wanna be a nobody to you. but....... im trapped by circumstances now.

FML.

2009-06-11T19:44:00.001+08:00

my world has been turned upside down again...after all the effort i tried to make it upright.

i don't think i deserve to live in this world, i'm just a fucking stupid girl.

2009-06-09T10:39:00.002+08:00

i had apple pie and mcflurry for dinner yesterday. i know, buey gia si. but the moment mcflurry enters my throat, so smoothing, so cooling. worth it lah.

but now, my entire head feels like there's a parade out there marching. and my throat. like rocky road now. woahz buey tahan already.

off to memorise tax. shit exams.

2009-06-08T18:31:00.002+08:00

Monday blues seriously.

I got the exam time and venue wrongly today. Luckily i texted Yani. And when i saw her reply, it's alr 9am. And exam starts at 10am!!! I thought it was 11am y'know. Wahlauz 1 hr i rush bath, dry my hair & take cab to school! Lucky no traffic jam.

And now im having fever + sore throat. really nice one lor. head feels so damn heavy, am having headaches now. exam on wednesday again. woo.

checklist.
- go Daiso buy my stuffs.
- picnic!!!!
- make coconut ice-cream.
- work work work!
- DIY

and i don't like talking to people who cannot differentiate 'wtf' and 'fuck you' !!!! irritates the damn hell out of me. it's not one person, it's quite a few.

and china is raining ice now?!!! singapore so damn hot until can melt already, china rain ice!?!!!
wahlauz.

ok bye.

2009-06-07T15:34:00.003+08:00

aa1 exam tmrw, i think i'll definitely fail. i totally cannot motivate myself to study these few days. i am sooo dead.

suggested to cx that we go on a picnic soon!!! at a quiet place, with tons of greenery and tons of sunshine and sky. hehe i absolutely can't wait for that day. hope the rest of them will agree to having a picnic!!! :> caixia wanna fly kite, i don't mind. just don't fly aeroplane can already lol!

aye yes i am always this random. can't stand myself too.

ok i am lazy to blog already. nowadays i think i'll definitely twitter more than blog. hehe. okay got to make myself do accounting now.Grrrz.

tweet tweet

2009-06-04T23:03:00.003+08:00

Am lazy to blog today.
Jan convinced me to 'twitter' again.
So now, i'm on http://twitter.com/murderthelove too!

And no, that is not my blog url, im still blogging here.

I'm off to watch my hongkong drama now. And i really do need to study.
For real.

Ciao.

Subway OD

2009-06-03T21:53:00.003+08:00

Seriously am tired to the max now. Think i'm falling sick soon.

I think i finally attended one full day session in school. Had aa1 remedial with kailin and a few others. And we went to buy Subway after that. Even though i just had Subway yesterday, i am still craving for it, as always.

But just a few minutes ago, i think i won't be able to eat Subway for a period of time. Cus my sister just came home with Subway too! So it's like 3 Subways in 2 days. Seriously OD on it already.

Tax tax tax aa1 aa1 aa1 tax aa1 tax aa1 tax aa11!!!!!
argh.

2009-06-01T19:57:00.002+08:00

Hello humans..and animals.
went to school today.

received a call during costing.
wahlauz, felt so stressed after the call seriously.
one more problem added on to it.
sibei sianz.

went toilet to smoke, hahaha.
and sat down at the staircase with caixia.
and look below.
that is what happens everytime.

camwhoring.

and saturday's.
lazy to upload the rest of them already lah.

i wanna watch tv, i wanna sleep.
i don't know which one i wanna do now.

byebye.

kakak chai aka coconut aka caixia.

2009-05-31T00:33:00.002+08:00

I met up with kakak chai around 7 at eunos, and we headed for Bugis.
She wanted to buy her pair of shoes. But it ended up with me buying shoes.
Cus kakak chai got small feet, no more size for her.
Aye lao niang got big feet lah, limpei wear size 5 lor.

And then we wandered around like hungry ghost. Actually we were really quite hungry.
Then your mother me want to eat Subway, cus i saw a guy holding Subway package.
Looked around, turns out there's no Subway. I think it's around Shaw area lor.
Knn. disappointment only.

so bo bian go old macdonald had a farm eat lor.
cus kakak chai dont want burger king. kfc like packed sardines.
and she damn generous lor.
saw korean family finding tables. and offered one of our tables to them.
so she and me squeezed at one small table lor.
she so kind right? make me squeeze with a korean uncle.
and she keep laughing at the korean children eating ice cream.

walked around bugis st. she gives crazy ideas and take crazy pictures.
funny thing. when we walked past the pay phone, it actually rang!?!
and then we picked up the phone. totally shocked.

ate durians!!!!! omfg. my first time eating durian after 39025775years.
she should be glad. i always shun durians nowadays cus i totally cannot stand the smell.
but actually it's okay one lor. mind over matter.

we wanted to find rick. and go take the rickshaw at fulushou there. (inside joke)
but rick is nowhere to be found. he on holiday i think.

my hands have durian/mac's soap/cig smell now.
wonderfulllll combination.

actually im lazy to upload pictures. i'll do it another day lah.
kakak chai have already blogged about it anywayz.

i am quite tired today.
tmrw lynette/kristy/caixia going shisha lor.
i also wanna go one lei. but no more $$$ alr lor.
thanks to shoes/durian/macs/cigs.
plus i still need to study for the upcoming 2 papers.
sianz ttm lor.

okay idk why am i typing in this lao-lan manner.
sibei ahlian-ish.
aiya whatever lorrrr.

laoniang go watch tv. mai kaopeh lah. bye.

2009-05-29T22:07:00.002+08:00

Someone pissed me off today morning.
And i am still pissed off, up till now.
Fucking bitch seriously.

And now i still have to face her at home.
Fuck. It's 10pm now & everyone's not home yet, except her.
Ultimate Queen B.itch.

laoniang look at her only, temper damn hot alr.

checklist to myself:
study study study
replace my atm card (think of this i even damn hot now, ccb)

i know your birthday passed, and i didn't wished you.
cus i find that there wasn't a need to.
i don't wanna be scolded for nothing all over again.

yesterday i dreamt that you called me, asking me out.
you said you wanna treat me even though it's your bday.
and i actually hung up the phone on you.
wtf, that's the most satisfying dream EVER.
i can happily say "fuck off boy" now.
hopefully, will be able to say it in your face.

i am so tired lately. seriously very tired.

you can be my Bonnie, i can be your Clyde

2009-05-29T17:10:00.010+08:00

yesterday 28feb09
jurong point.
sit for 27 stops to and fro. my butt aches man.
but still, lovely day.

met up with my sister, my ex-maid ( i call her Kakak) & her son.
it's been 4 years since she left our household to start her own family.
and now she have a adorable son who is already 3 years old.
and they are living happily in singapore, with PR status.
i am so happy for them :>

& i love joshua lee to the max, srsly.

pictures.

------

today
School at 8am, yes i went. i know, like finally. ._.
lessons was quite torturing for me, damn sleepy.
3 cans of red bull today, yeah im dying soon.

expo food fair after school.
prata sausage, giant squid (damn fucking nice!?)
slack/smoke/home.

pictures. of food. and coupleS.

caixia's mushroom soup. just like restaurant city's!

the nice giant sotong/squid. it'll be nicer if it's spicier. omg i like it alot. chewyyyy.

小朋友,该起来了. 这场梦已结束了!!

2009-05-27T18:22:00.005+08:00

should watch this. it's so fucking funny. and quite true.
everyone go watch it quick!!!
-

정지 쓰기 황소는 당신의 블로그에서 똥눈다.
당신은 이를 전부 난센스 다시 시작한 사람이었다.
따라서 지금 암컷은 누구인가?

They say it's hard to juggle both work and studies, and balance both.

Been feeling so tired recently, i can just fall asleep standing up. No more late nights for me now.. i think so. Haha.

Am so lazy to update already. Anyway, tmrw i need to head off to Boonlay. So farrrrr, sigh.

I haven't been studying recently, i seriously should start soon, like now.

But my eyes are glued to Boys before flowers nowwww, can't seem to stop watching it. I teared over some of the scenes, my heart actually ached for Goo Jun Pyo, especially when he's at the Macau airport crying & watching Jan Di and Ji Hoo leave. Sighs.

I'm gonna try to start studying now. Bye.

too many desires and cravings

2009-05-25T19:43:00.003+08:00

I didn't go to school today. Really tired ttm. Everyone have finished their papers already, but not me. Am still waiting for the dates of the next 2 papers. Must study, must study, must study!!!!

Have been craving for Subway damn alot recently. Seriously must go and satisfy my craving soon, like tmrw!!!!

I don't know why, but i'm getting a little sick of low resolution pictures. I desire for a new camera, perhaps i shouldn't have sold mine away. But that camera was that fucker's present, i'd rather not see it anymore.

Too many cravings and wants. $$$ come fly to mama now. Sigh.

Nothing much to blog today, bye.

2009-05-24T19:08:00.002+08:00

Boring day today, stayed at home the whole day to rest. And i actually played restaurant city the whole day. I am so fucking addicted to it, i need more ingredients :<

Just now i was smoking outside, 2 young teenagers came up to me.
And they say. "Aunty, got 2 cigarettes can spare anot? "
I replied. ".... HUH "
And in the end, i still have to pass them 2 cigs.

Wah. call me aunty, then still expect me to give them cigs. I always meet these kind of lanjiao lang lor.

Okay, maggie mee for dinner today. Bye.

Control your poison babe, roses have thorns they say...

2009-05-23T19:20:00.006+08:00

I am seriously damn stoned today, idk why. I missed one bus on the way to the airport. The bus was like infront of me, and i was staring at it. And i only realised it's the bus i wanna take when it left!!! Stupid right?

Study session at the airport with Caixia, Kristy, Jessica & Nigel today. It was totally unproductive for me today, idk why. Perhaps cus i wasn't really in the mood to study. I only managed to finish like 1 question? Damn pathetic, sigh.

Caixia is very playful today. She's like in a very good mood today, keep laughing, like one siao char bor. Muahahaz.

Anyway, many pictures below. Don't see if you're not interested.

Pardon my stupid messy hair. I lazy to use conditioner today, and i've run out of conditioner anyway.

taken using caixia's phone. was taking a break.

with jessica. :>

had to censor my eyes out, cus it was horrendous looking.

while waiting for kristy to buy her stuffs at ntuc.

she wanna act cute with her calculator lor.

smoking area.

she wanted to go to the viewing mall to take pictures.

and i'm going to end off with caixia's so called artistic picture. artistic ah? LOL.

i am so tired now, i feel like sleeping you know.. but i can't. sibei sianz.

i don't wanna care so much anymore, there's nothing much left to say. do whatever you deem fit lah.

Half psychotic, sick hypnotic

2009-05-19T20:59:00.002+08:00

plans for movie today changed to kbox. at ehub. im damn tired.

am watching fighting spiders now. omg the scene of charlie and peter in peter's hse so kan funny la. seriously make me lol man.

am quite scared of tmrw night. i probably am gonna regret tmrw night after it's over. i seriously don't want tomorrow night to arrive. i am really damn afraid now...........

if you choose to be ignorant, you'll have very much less burdens to carry. Cus ignorance is bliss.

But blissful does not equate to being a fool.

2009-05-18T22:36:00.003+08:00

Stickgal.blogspot

2009-05-16T20:20:00.003+08:00

i woke up at around 3pm today,am feeling absolutely tired still.
picture speaks louder than a thousand words.

where has my heart gone to...

credits to stickgal/bs

2009-05-16T04:53:00.005+08:00

It's 5am now, and i just reached home. Am super tired, but thought i'll just blog first before going to sleep. Cus i'm always the last one in blogging pictures, but suddenly have the mood to blog now! Haha.
Just came back from ECP, supposed to ton, but everyone was too tired. Took a cab home with guangwei and xian. I was like already sleeping the moment i stepped into the cab, lol.
Laughed my ass off when moses & guangwei played blackwhite. Seriously roflmao.
Anyway, pictures!!!! of kristy, caixia and me. the 'brighter' pictures are taken using cx's phone, and the rest, kristy & mine.

oh yeah, this picture is dedicated to lee lina. it's cx's idea, not me. muahahhaz.

Am addicted to time crisis. i so wanna play it soon!? and i heard some stuffs which made me rather pissed off? the shits you do... seriously why.

im quite hungry now, i didn't really eat anything the whole day. just a few mouthful of char siew shao rou fan. which i vomited out in the toilet. one ice cream cone. and many many cigs. yeah my meal for the day.

okay i wanna go sleep already buaiz.

we're running in circles baby

2009-05-14T23:14:00.002+08:00

Costing exam today, finally one load off my back. 2 more, damn it.

Headed for Subways with the girls after the exam. I simply love Subways, am still craving for it nowwwww. Am a huge fan of Subways, will never ever get sick of it ^^v

And i Restaurant-city my whole day away, from 4pm till now!? Yes it's just so fucking addictive. And my eyes are getting so sleepy, i just finished doing the laundry only.

Tmrw im not going to school, im going to bedok, buy food for my grandma. I stupidly told my dad im not going school tmrw, so now i've got to go bedok buy food for her etc, and then go back home. Wahlau, like as if bedok and pasir ris damn near lorrrrsxz. Ah whatever.

And i've got a goddamn ear infection now, i can't wear any ear studs on my left ear. It's bleeding, it's itchy, there's pus coming out of it. It's irritating the shit out of me cus it's painful. >.o

I'm so sleepy nowwwwww, but i'm watching Criminal minds on tv now. I hate those eerie sound effects i seriously hate it alot. I tend to imagine alot whenever i hear those kinda sounds.

I want Subways nowwwwwwwwww 0.0

Goodnight.

2009-05-13T22:20:00.002+08:00

It is already 10.30pm and i haven't even start studying yet!!!!!

Wooo nice one. I'm feeling so damn sleepy now.

ROAR

2009-05-13T16:44:00.004+08:00

I'm so bored now, and there's no one to talk to me ugh. I feel so damn sleepy now. :<

Yesterday after school, we went e-hub to study. But after doing a few questions, our mood to study was totally gone. Went to BK to slack/smoke/talk cock.

And i received a call from my dad telling me that my grandma was just released from hospital. And asked me to go over to her hse at bedok now, cus there's no one to look after her. I took 21 there, it took me 1 hr!!!! Was seriously damn tired already lah.

And i woke up for costing today. 8am you know. it's been long since i actually attended a 8am lesson. And i left for bedok after that. zzzzz.

Okay after typing all this, i'm so goddamn sleepy now. And i still need to study for Costing exam tmrw, i need to study the goddamn theory lah.

---

Why are you so fucked up? You always think that you're the right one lah. And you don't get your goddamn facts right at all. Don't fucking assume, you'll just make an ass out of yourself. You should just go fuck yourself seriously.

And you. Stop calling me. You're already part of the unwanted history. Shoo!!!!!

Am off to study costing theory. byebye.

To a certain cretin out there

2009-05-12T21:35:00.005+08:00

Eh mai lanjiao la hor pua chee bye.

Super dulan to the fucking max lor seriously.

Go fuck yourself la _1_

Lazyyyyyy

2009-05-11T19:59:00.000+08:00

Okay i'm such an lazy arse. This entry was supposed to be saturday's, but i saved it in my draft..till today. So it's a compilation from sat to today (monday).

Saturday May 09

Went to the airport to study with caixia and kristy. I wasn't totally in the mood, but i managed to finish all 3 questions of costing myself. And all of us headed down to sengkang after that. slacked over there at some random void deck till around 2330 before i went home. was so friggin tired and my hand hurts damn alot cus i stupidly played 5-10 with kristy again. got my dad to rub for me to dissipate the blood clots. seriously goddamn pain.

Sunday May 10

I actually slept through the whole day, must be due to the late nights. And read up on some costing theory, it was so boring. And caught up on my Gossipgirl & S Factor. And that's like the only best thing that happened to me. My boring Sunday.

Monday May 11.

Well i didn't go to school today. I woke up rather early..but i fell asleep a few hours later..all the way till 5pm. Lol and i saw several missed calls. Haha sorry, guess i was too tired recently. I'm so fucking bored nowwwwwww, i can't wait for exams to be over like now srsly. Let the holidays come to me now baby. Muahahz. Ah whatever. tmrw school at 9am.

Now bye.

2009-05-09T01:01:00.003+08:00

I just reached home from plaza sing. Managed to take the last train back to PSR, but no bus home. :< And i walked home, perspired like mad!!!! Am having the most goddamn pain gastric now..i feel damn terrible now. Grrrz. I have bruises on my hands now, cus i played 5-10 with kristy and moses. my hands look like shit now.

today's one of the happiest day i ever spent, ever since 3 weeks. friends are always the best.

am waiting for cx to upload pictures haha!

i need to eat my gastric meds now bye!

mundane, so mundane.

2009-05-07T21:49:00.002+08:00

I bathed two hours ago, and yet now i feel sticky already. The weather is unbelievably hot, muthafucking hotttttt. Hot and humid. At times like this, i wish i were in "ang moh" countries, those that have winter season.

Been sleeping rather 'early' recently, in the mornings. I tried to sleep earlier but i always ended up tossing and turning in bed. and then switched to using the laptop and surfing aimlessly...till 3-4am. yeah i know, it's the same as before again. i guess i've been thinking too much. Err yeah okay.

I can't wait for the weekends to arrive. it's the only time i feel slightly relaxed recently.

went to school for tax earlier on. it was okay i suppose. am feeling damn tired. slight migraine.

i'll update more at my livejournal.

2009-05-07T02:15:00.000+08:00

I can't fall asleep, and it's already 2am now. Damn being an insomniac is my occupation now. Grrz.

And to that fucker who invaded my msn a/c, thanks alot huh. luckily i always save my contacts list. so all i have to do is create a new a/c and import my list. sucker.

too fucked to blog

2009-05-06T10:46:00.003+08:00

96 facts.

001. Name: Angie
002. NIckname(s): -
003. Age: 20
004. Horoscope: Libra
005. M/F: Female
006. Elementary School: -
007. MIddle School: Elias Park Primary School
008. HIgh School: Coral Secondary School
009. College: ITE College East
010. Hair Color: Brown
011. Hair Length: Long
012. Loud/ Quiet: Quiet
013. Phone/Camera: Phone
014. Health Freak?: nope
015. Drink/Smoke: both
016. Do you have a crush on someone?: no, i don't think so anymore.
017. Eat/Drink: Both
018. Piercing: 2 normal ones on my ears
019. Tattoos: none
020. Social/Anti-social: anti-social
021. Lefty/Righty: righty

Firsts
022. First Piercing: when i was 16 i think
023. First Relationship: when i was 12
024. First Best Friend: can't rmb
025. First Award: in primary school
026. First KIss: long gone
027. First Pet: -
028. First Big Vacation: -
029. First Love-at-first-sight: primary sch. lol
030. First BIg Birthday: 09 oct 1989
031. First Surgery: none
032. First Sport: volleyball

Either or
033. Orange/Apple Juice: Apple
034. Rock/Rap: Rock
035. Country/Screamo: Country
036. NSYNC/BSB: both :D
037. Britney Spears/Christina Aquilera: Britney Spears
038. Day/Night: Night
039. Sun/Moon: Moon
040. TV/Internet: Internet
041. Playstation/Xbox: definitely PS
042. Kiss/Hug: Hug
043. Iguana/Turtle: turtle
044. Spider/Bee: NEITHER.
045. Fall/Spring: Fall
046. Limewire/Itunes: -
047. Soccer/Baseball: soccer

Currents
048. NBA Game: none
049. Drinking: iced water
050. Excitement Level: beyond negative
051. I'm about to: die
052. Listening to: tv adverts
053. Plan for Today: day's almost in few hours time
054. Waiting for: graduation day!
055. Energy Level: zero
056. Thinking of someone: yes

Time
057. Kids: idk
058. Marriage: perhaps
059. No. of kids: no one knows the future
060. Names: alexa
061. Childhood Dream Job: teacher
062. Careers in mind: events coordinator / accountant?
063. Mellow/Wild: wild
064. Something you would never try: bungee jumping

Preferences
065. Lips/Eyes: Eyes
066. Romantic/Humorous: both
067. Short/Tall: Obviously tall
068. Protective/Caring: caring
069. Romantic/ Spontaneous: both
070. Nice Stomach/Arms: dont care
071. Sensitive/Loud: Sensitive
072. Hook-up/Relationship: Relationship
073. Trouble-maker/Hesitant: both
074. Muscular/Normal: normal

Have you ever...
075. Kissed a stranger: yes
076. Broken a bone: yes
077. Lost glasses/contacts: nope
078. Ran away from home: nope
079. Held a weapon for self-defense: yes
080. Killed Somebody: nope
081. Broken someone's heart: yes
082. Had your heart broken: yes
083. Been arrested: nope
084. Cried when someone died: yes
085. Liked a friend more than a friend: yea

Do you believe in...
086. Yourself: idk
087. MIracles: idk
088. Love at first sight: not so true anymore
089. Heaven: yes
090. Santa Claus: nope
091. Tooth Fairy: nope
092. Kiss on the first date: a peck on the cheek perhaps
093. Angels: yes
094. 1 person you wanna be with right now: no longer.
095. Happy with life: idk
096. Do you believe in God: nope

Tagged: Caixia, Lina, and all those who wanna do it then.

2009-05-02T13:05:00.002+08:00

Thank god for vodafone, it enables people to be online everywhere they go. And it certainly makes boredom easier to bear, especially when the ride's long. Am off to catch some forty winks. I love ex colleagues, and i certainly love people who've a car. haha ^^v

Yes I'm back !!!!!

2009-04-30T15:55:00.007+08:00

After on a short hiatus on blogspot, i'm finally back to blog here again.. Livejournal is more for my private thoughts on certain stuff.. ^^v

I've not been in school for lessons for 2 weeks..and it feels okay, albeit a little bored? But all good things will come to an end fast. I think i might be going back to school next week..i don't know, cannot confirm much yet. :S

Life's been peaceful ever since my hibernation period..but i wonder, can this go on for the rest of my live? Apparently not.. :<

My complexion is in a terrible state now, having major breakouts now. This is like one of the worst ever. Might be due to the fucking late period, which is stillll not here yet. It's missing for 2 months now. As usual. >:{

And i sense a fever coming very soon..shit.

I'm stoning and blasting songs now...bye.

2009-04-19T20:07:00.016+08:00

On a short break.

aint it cool?

totally randomness

2009-04-17T11:55:00.006+08:00

As i'm updating now, school will be ending in about a few minute's time. I was so fucking tired that i fell asleep at 2230 yesterday, thinking about aa1/costing/taxation. I was actually thinking of my future routes...and fell asleep. That's a bad thing, isn't it?

Mood's not good these few days, alot of things happened, both good and bad. Trying to see everything through a bird's point of view. Am trying to see everything from a soul-less person's eye. Am trying very hard to succeed...but still failing. Utter disappointment. Fear. Failure. And the elders always say, "It never rains, but it pours."

In a flash moment, i seriously missed the monotonous secondary school life i had. At least it was peaceful. And there's no need for backbite...at least not till this extent. Aye i am not in favour of humbugs. Why why why? Tell me why.

It seems like there's far too many 'nicholas' in my life recently.. Seriously, just one is enough, i'm not a sucker for punishment. totally.

I thought i liked you, i thought i loved you. But guess what? I was wrong all along... I'm sorry.

And to that person who i saved as 'dumb pig' in my phone contact list (you know who you are), thank you for being there for me whenever i needed you.. it's been somewhat 2 years.. and thanks for really treating me as your confidant too.

And i don't know where has my bastard brother gone to, trying to play MIA with me just because he's heartbroken over his relationship with a damn girl huh.. what about our 4 years of relationship huh!?

And janice tan. where are you!? stop partying so much, and meet me.

Yes i'm being totally random today.. but well, it's just me.

/edit 9pm

I don't know how the hell you got my number, when i already changed my number. And i didn't even tell you that i've changed my number. Stop calling me non-stop la fucker.

What's with the attitude seriously.

blues

2009-04-16T19:39:00.001+08:00

Stressed to the max.

Don't ask me anything anymore.

:((((((((((

mysterious boy

2009-04-14T11:33:00.003+08:00

Banky W. - My Regret

Am currently listening to this song, it makes me sad. And now my feelings are in a mess.

I KO at 11pm yesterday..and i slept till today morning 0830am. And my lesson starts at 09am. Yessss, so it means i skipped school, again. Sigh. Am actually still not used to school life, even after 1 fucking year. :(

Im actually staring at the laptop, stoning & smoking. Thinking about some stuffs. Sigh.

Humans. Friend or Foe?

Changed my blog template to an even more simple one, cus i'm yearning for a simple one, just like how i'm yearning for a simple life. Took away the tagboard, use the comment box instead.

And i know i shouldn't think so much, should just let things go away or go stale.

I am already very frustrated. Don't make me more frustrated than I am.