school for the last two days, damn tired siol. and abit lazy to update. i think i twitter more than i update this pathetic blog.

and when im bored, i take pictures. sian arhz

lovely company

Okay i'm back to update. it's been a week. have been busy working, barely had time to sleep, let alone blog. okay i admit im lazy too, hahah.

shisha @ haji lane yesterday.

apple mint flavour, cigs, fries, nuggets, bucket of heineken & lovely company.

it was a rather mellow session because all of us were already damn tired due to work/school. especially love yesterday's atmosphere. rnb/pop music blasting, relaxing just like this. if only everyday would be like this, damn nice.



























pictures are not in order. all of us parted at around 11, and then i headed off to meet R for second round! he fetched me from pasir ris, and then drove to pasir ris park. star gazing. tcss session.

but alas, i got drunk. damn dead drunk he had to send me home. :S

and today im having the most goddamn hangover ever! seriously feel like im swaying & gonna puke any time. worst thing, i had to wake up early to attend lesson today. and i kept complaining to kailin im dying soon. lol.

& i finally replaced my atm card alr! the bank's queue was so damn long, lucky kailin accompanied me. had my all time favourite Subway, and then headed home. and i slept...all the way from 4pm to 7pm.

tmrw i still gotta go school again. sibei siansxz.

can't wait for shisha session next week again.

it doesn't matter if you say i'm heartless, cold blooded or whatever shit. cus i know, i'll never like you. i don't wanna lead you on a wild chase anymore. it's tiring, for both you and me. and you know that i've already got someone inside my heart.

meanwhile, it's just mind games. it's not only me, everyone's been playing love mind games. love will always be a mind game, it's either you win or lose. i've won some and lost some. and i understand how it feels to lose mind games. but yeah, just get over it E. cus the more you kpkb, the more irritated i'll be.

okay end of long post. till the next time i update....ciao. hahah.

okay it's been a few days since i last updated.

tons of stuffs have happened within these few days and i haven't had the time to update. furthermore, i'm absolutely not in the mood to update anything too. cus it took me 2hr+ to upload the pictures!!! Idk what's wrong with the connection/blogger lately.

Anyway,

wednesday

• jb trip
• overnight drinking session

thursday

• east coast kite flying session
• haji lane shisha

friday

• work
• bugis steamboat
• tonning/mustafa centre/prata

this is what i've been doing since wednesday.

I'm lazy to put captions for the pictures. There's work tmrw, have to wake up damn early, like 5am? School and work, can't decide which one is more worse.

part of the foodies.

and finally, i'm freed from hell, seriously thank god. although i don't feel good about this, i know this is the best for both you and me. i still miss you, and yet i feel bitter about every single fucking shit that happened. i know i have been blind, everyone says that to me now. because of you. okay enough of emotional shit.

i haven't been sleeping well lately. i was basically in my own world on saturday. reached home at 7am. and then drifting on and off to lala land. taking wrong orders etc. basically so dead on saturday. can't afford to sleep late already.

i started this entry at 630pm. and it's now 930pm. now remind me why i keep delay blogging? okie am gonna go sleep soon. bye.

Rascal Flatts - What hurts the most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then
And just let 'em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I'm ok, but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was trying to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you every where I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder
Gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret, but I know
If I could do it over
I would trade, give away, show the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

---

the right song for my current mood.

been rather busy now. and am hurting badly now. i can't wait for tmrw, finally getting out of singapore. i need a getaway, even if it's for a day.

the silence is unbearable.

i've been living on red bull, water and cigarettes. no food at all. and i have no feelings.

okie FML bye.

enlightened

i feel like i've been living in a nightmare for the past 3 days. really demon from hell! i hope i'm freed, for real. cus i really can't take it anymore.

i love janice tan.

yesterday was a huge bitch, and i only got home at 12pm today. considering the fact that i slept at 4am on thursday and woke up early in the morning on friday.. all the way till today 12pm.

i'm going crazy, i cannot take it anymore. im seriously losing my appetite. i haven't eaten anything for the entire day, and i don't feel hungry at all.

i realised i'm always like this when i'm stressed.

i need janice tan now. sighsxz.

It's the last day of school today, before June holidays officially start. My first week is already quite packed. Should be happy and looking forward to it. But.. idk.

I don't know how to describe yesterday. It's too private already, I'll update that in livejournal instead. :(

my feelings are in a total mess today. i don't feel like eating anything at all recently, i just feel like dropping dead.

i don't like this feeling that i'm having now. i don't even know how to describe it. it's hurting me badly. i want to cry but the tears can't seem to flow out anymore.

cancelled my plans for tonight, am not feeling that well. i just had my first meal of the day, it's 7.47pm now. was forced to eat, or else my dad will nag again. if not, i wouldn't even want to eat anything.

what am i supposed to do now? i don't wanna be a nobody to you. but....... im trapped by circumstances now.

FML.

my world has been turned upside down again...after all the effort i tried to make it upright.

i don't think i deserve to live in this world, i'm just a fucking stupid girl.

i had apple pie and mcflurry for dinner yesterday. i know, buey gia si. but the moment mcflurry enters my throat, so smoothing, so cooling. worth it lah.

but now, my entire head feels like there's a parade out there marching. and my throat. like rocky road now. woahz buey tahan already.

off to memorise tax. shit exams.

Monday blues seriously.

I got the exam time and venue wrongly today. Luckily i texted Yani. And when i saw her reply, it's alr 9am. And exam starts at 10am!!! I thought it was 11am y'know. Wahlauz 1 hr i rush bath, dry my hair & take cab to school! Lucky no traffic jam.

And now im having fever + sore throat. really nice one lor. head feels so damn heavy, am having headaches now. exam on wednesday again. woo.

checklist.
- go Daiso buy my stuffs.
- picnic!!!!
- make coconut ice-cream.
- work work work!
- DIY

and i don't like talking to people who cannot differentiate 'wtf' and 'fuck you' !!!! irritates the damn hell out of me. it's not one person, it's quite a few.

and china is raining ice now?!!! singapore so damn hot until can melt already, china rain ice!?!!!
wahlauz.

ok bye.

aa1 exam tmrw, i think i'll definitely fail. i totally cannot motivate myself to study these few days. i am sooo dead.

suggested to cx that we go on a picnic soon!!! at a quiet place, with tons of greenery and tons of sunshine and sky. hehe i absolutely can't wait for that day. hope the rest of them will agree to having a picnic!!! :> caixia wanna fly kite, i don't mind. just don't fly aeroplane can already lol!

aye yes i am always this random. can't stand myself too.

ok i am lazy to blog already. nowadays i think i'll definitely twitter more than blog. hehe. okay got to make myself do accounting now.Grrrz.

tweet tweet

Am lazy to blog today.
Jan convinced me to 'twitter' again.
So now, i'm on http://twitter.com/murderthelove too!

And no, that is not my blog url, im still blogging here.

I'm off to watch my hongkong drama now. And i really do need to study.
For real.

Ciao.

Subway OD

Seriously am tired to the max now. Think i'm falling sick soon.

I think i finally attended one full day session in school. Had aa1 remedial with kailin and a few others. And we went to buy Subway after that. Even though i just had Subway yesterday, i am still craving for it, as always.

But just a few minutes ago, i think i won't be able to eat Subway for a period of time. Cus my sister just came home with Subway too! So it's like 3 Subways in 2 days. Seriously OD on it already.

Tax tax tax aa1 aa1 aa1 tax aa1 tax aa1 tax aa11!!!!!
argh.

Hello humans..and animals.
went to school today.

received a call during costing.
wahlauz, felt so stressed after the call seriously.
one more problem added on to it.
sibei sianz.

went toilet to smoke, hahaha.
and sat down at the staircase with caixia.
and look below.
that is what happens everytime.

camwhoring.

and saturday's.
lazy to upload the rest of them already lah.

i wanna watch tv, i wanna sleep.
i don't know which one i wanna do now.

byebye.