pictures!.

im only uploading all these pictures now. the rest will be up on facebook or something. im rather lazy to blog, all details can be found on caixia's blog. these few days have been pretty crazy and hectic for me. ever since friday, i've been living on less than 5 hours of sleep per day or totally no sleep at all. i'm practically a walking zombie now, i need to sleep more!

chalet > cx hse > shisha > pub > family gathering > sakae sushi/suntec > hougang ton > cdc >home.

friday till tuesday.

nighty night. bbaiz.

new theory for "costing"

【JON】- CRISIS! | happy birthday to all that come out on this day says (8:05 PM):

*OWIP: broken heart

*Mats Added: Love

*Normal Loss: $$/Time

*Abnormal Loss: sexual contact

*Finished Goods : baby

*CWIP: broken heart

Based on costing process format. Hilarious, but fucking true!

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Lessons in life

• * When someone lies to you, it teaches you that things are not always what they seem. The truth is often far beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks people wear if you want to know what is in their hearts. Remove your own masks to let people know who you really are.

• * When someone steals from you it teaches you that nothing is forever. Always appreciate what you have. You never know when you might lose it. Never take your friends or family for granted, because today and sometimes only this very moment is the only guarantee you may have.
  
  
• * When someone inflicts injury upon you, it teaches you that the human state is a very fragile one. Protect and take care of your body as best as you can, it’s the one thing that you are sure to have forever.
  
  
• * When someone mocks you, it teaches you that no two people are alike. When you encounter people who are different from you, do not judge them by how they look or act, instead base it on the contents of what is in their hearts.
  
  
• * When someone breaks your heart, it teaches you that loving someone does not always mean that the person will love you back. But don’t turn your back on love, because when you find the right person, the joy that one person brings you will make up for all of your past hurts. Times a thousand fold.
  
  
• * When someone holds a grudge against you, it teaches you that everyone makes mistakes. When you are wronged, the most virtuous thing you can do is forgive the offender without pretense. Forgiving those who have hurt us is often the most difficult and painful of life’s experiences, but it is also the most courageous thing a person can do.
  
  
• * When a loved one is unfaithful to you, it teaches you that resisting temptation is man’s greatest challenge. Be vigilant in your resistance against all temptations. By doing so, you will be rewarded with an enduring sense of satisfaction far greater than the temporary pleasure by which you were tempted.
  
  
• * When someone cheats you, it teaches you that greed is the root of all evil. Aspire to make your dreams come true, no matter how lofty they may be. Do not feel guilty about your success, but never let an obsession with achieving your goals lead you to engage in malevolent activities.
  
  
• * When someone ridicules you, it teaches you that nobody is perfect. Accept people for their merits and be tolerant of their flaws. Do not ever reject someone for imperfections over which they have no control.
  
  
• * When someone loves us, it teaches us love, kindness, charity, honesty, humility, forgiveness, acceptance, and all of these can counteract all the evil in the world. For every good deed, there is one evil deed. Man alone has the power to control the balance between good and evil, but because the lessons of love are not taught often enough, the power is too often abused.
  
  
• * When you enter someone’s life, whether by plan, chance or coincidence, consider what your lesson will be. Will you teach love or a harsh lesson of reality? When you die, will your life have resulted in more loving or more hurting? More comfort or more pain? More joy or more sadness? Each one of us has the power over the balance of the love in the world. Use it wisely!

(via papertissue)

it's been miserable

10425.) One text from you can make my whole day better. This is how I know we should probably never see each other or talk again. I can not rely on you for the rest of my life to make me happy and be miserable when you give me nothing. I need to learn how to make myself happy without you.
(via blogsecret)

I'm going cold turkey on you.

slow and steady

even though i know i can't trust you, even though i'm afraid that history will repeat itself,
i just can't stop myself from thinking of you.

nothing more important than this

10391.) I feel like I need the approval of everyone around me. That if they don't approve of something I do, then they will change their opinion of me entirely.
(via blogsecret)

Yesterday was almost a very nice day, with no stress, no problems. Visited the silly boy, and things were going on fine until Alvin texted me again and again. I really don't know what he want from me. I think his ultimate motive is to make me go crazy.

Gastric acting up again. Ordered mac at silly boy's ystd. But it was a wasted meal. I only managed to finish the nuggets, and it was down in the toilet bowl after few minutes. Gastric was so painful i feel like banging the wall.

Am having a sore throat now. And my whole body is aching. I don't know why too. And i lack of sleep, major big time. I know i have to put some effort this holiday, revising my aa1. Cus i have no doubt i failed it. Sianz ttm right.

Shall bath and head off to the post office now! Baiz.

disgusting creature

you know who you are,

I don't know if you'll get to see this, but I wanna tell you that you're one mother fucking top liar, and that I am really blind to have been with you, even if it's just for a short while. Lucky I broke up with you before finding out this shit. Or else I really would've died right on the spot. Even if you want to two time, then do it properly. Maybe you think you've covered your tracks well, but guess what? If you've told me right from the start, then i wouldn't mind at all. But you just kept on lying. On friday, when that girl came to message me on her own, i knew you were nothing good already. And we realised we've both been had. And then you play MIA, you're just a fucking coward who don't have the guts to face us after your bubble has been popped. To think I was just this close to forgiving you. Lucky I didn't. And to think that I thought I was the one to blame all along, making you miserable cus I wasn't understanding enough, cus I wasn't a good girlfriend to you. You make me so ashamed of myself, for having such "good" judgment. Thank you so much for the memories, be it good or bad. Goodbye.

it's making me insane

10271.) I'm still in love with this guy, we were dating before but then we decided to remain as friends. So he is one of my closest friends. After a month I had boyfriend then I realized that I don’t love my boyfriend and it’s just a big mistake so I decided to broke up with him. The only reason why I broke up with my boyfriend is because of the guy I really love and he knows that. We don’t admit it but I know, he knows what I feel for him.
(via blogsecret)

10330.) Part of me wants to make him fall in love with me only as a revenge. Part of me can't do it, because I truly love him.
(via blogsecret)

exact same situation with *, but instead of a month, it was 2 weeks.
currently in hibernation and self destruction mode. fucking hate myself so much, can't describe the amount of loathe i have for myself. and i desperately want to leave Sg! like, i think of it so badly every constant minute, it's making me even more miserable.

baiz.

Holidays have arrived!!!! :D And no one can be happier than me, this mother fucker slacker! Yeah yeah whatever.

AA1 exam yesterday, only one word to describe. Failure. I woke up super early to go school meet Ms quah & Lina study. And then Xinfang, Kailin, Daud & Jon came to the library too. Major cram session. Memorised, and yet when i stepped into the exam hall, i fucking forget everything. Too much for me to take within one day already. And fever came to visit me again. Like wtf. Holiday only cfm sick one.

Rushed home, went to do my stuffs, and then V drove me to jeremin's hse to visit him. That silly boy's injuries are horrendous. His mummy was nagging at him to stop smoking for the period, and i didn't know that until she saw him smoking and nagged. Makes me feel guilty for passing him cigs. Lucky she don't know i was the one who hung up the phone on her that day. :/

Then off to meet bb ken till now. Yeah i just reached home. That silly boy wore his no.4 uniform out to meet me, cus he've to go attend a course today morning. Am super tired actually, but i'm just gonna go bath, and then i gotta go admiralty already.

Don't understand why teenage guys like to have mood swings damn alot. A's being a ridiculous ass again!!

ok bbaiz.

Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. Letting go doesn’t mean we shut down. Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave. It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment. It means we stop trying to do the impossible — controlling that which we cannot and instead, focus on what is possible.

: ifwordscankill

Dear Alexa Angie, below are your PSYCHOLOGY PERSONALITY test result:

You love the crowd... a party animal! Too many “friends”, you can’t easily tell which among them is real and not...

You’re usually expressive... Open about your emotions and most of the time willing to talk about it.

You search for love... you’re a hopeless romantic and every time you enter a relationship, you give your all and believe “this is the One.”

You have so many ideas in mind... You’re creative and aggressive! If you want something, you’ll do anything to get it!

You’re a stubborn sweetheart... You “love” him/her only because he/she loves you. If his/her flame puts out, you let go with no trouble.

You’re undoubtedly good-natured! Most of the time, people are confident to approach you because they know you will consider them.

You love actions... with the hero-like taste! You focus on your strengths and use them to protect persons/things that are important to you.


--

am so mega fucking pissed now. who the fuck you think you are?! i don't fucking owe you anything okay, you don't fucking come and give me this kind of attitude and lousy answers.

today is one of the worst fucking lousy day for me, everrrrrr. and tiring. my neck feels stiff, my head feels heavy, my eyes keep wanna close like that. and my brains. feels like i never bring my brains out today at all! ciyun knows why. seriously can cry out loud man knn. she also say can faint already. :(

and i guess i've been dreaming these few days. and living on false hopes. fuck false hopes. it's a fucking terrible feeling. don't come giving me bullshit and nonsense unless you are a victim of 'false hopes' too.

really need to get back to reality. i've been drifting and drifting too far away.. really seriously. living on no man's island.

and the amount of cigarettes i smoke per day. imagine 1 stick of marlboro menthol has 13mg of tar. so i have like at least 200+ mg of tar in my body each day. yesterday in total, i have 364mg of tar in my body. like wtf i know. think i'm gonna go cold turkey soon. hope i can do it.

i need to go fuck myself verbally now. cb bbaiz.

giving you up for freedom

i'm back to clear the cobwebs now..

been rather busy recently, studying. yes me, the motherfucker slacker studying. focusing on costing, and i guess i'm okay with it now. only aa1 for me to worry about now. totally headache.

been spending my day and night outside. ton sessions at airport/ecp studying. and i've been awake for 45 hours!!!! yes i know im crazy. but who cares anyway...

went out to meet A for awhile, but it was a fucked up short meet up. and i totally cannot take it anymore, i called for time out. and so officially, it's time out for us i guess? it's been so fucked up i don't know anything can be salvaged anymore.

just finished talking on the phone with silly boy.. he's so poor thing, being hospitalised and stuff. he was complaining about the lousy hospital food, and facing 4 walls for 24 hours everyday.. and not being to walk, needless to say, ride his bike. he'll be discharged on tuesday earliest. and i can't wait for it.

exam's will be officially over on wednesday! and i can't wait for exams to be over asap. so i can go visit him again and again. was actually feeling quite fucked up before silly boy called me.. but now im feeling much better, especially when he makes me laugh. first time someone use hospital phone to call me and talk for an hour plus. ahaha, no choice cus his phone was smashed during the accident.

okay now as i look at the screen, and type words, it looks like the words are getting blurry and flying all over the screen. my eyes are tired, my whole body is extremely tired now.. super duper tired to the max.

im falling asleep while typing now. bbaiz.

wake me up when september ends.

Happy teacher's day!!!! And Happy bday to my sister too.

Have been at home the whole day, and i only managed to do 1 pathetic costing question, and it's still incomplete cus i know nuts about secondary apportionment now. :( really feel like banging myself against the wall, ya i know i ought to.

Been feeling veryyyy restless lately, and totally no motivation at all. Idk wtf am i actually doing nowadays. Sighsxz.

I'm craving for sambal seafood fried rice now. Idk why, nowadays i suddenly have alot of cravings.. and yet i can't seem to finish my meals every time. Waste money waste time only. Sambal seafood fried riceeeeeeeee, yummy :(

Feel like sleeping now, but nonono. If i sleep now, tonight cfm cannot sleep. Then tmrw cfm gone case again. Back to costing :/

baiz.