F135 Angie tan.

I am sick again. yeah i know like wtf right. I went to the polyclinic just now, had to wear a mask while waiting for my turn. this time, don't really have to wait damn long? cus i was directed to the 'fever clinic' immediately. 6 different types of meds. 18 pills per day. i think i've spent the whole month of july being sick. and swallowing pills. 3 doctors in a month. arghhhhh.

had a good afternoon nap just now, and had maggie mee for dinner. having period cramps now. and meds making me drowsy.

one of the worst month ever. really having soooo many crappy shits happening this month. some unbelievable stuffs.

dont ask me what it is. if you know, you know. if you don't, don't ask.

goodnight world.

Why did you come back now?
Since it's been years, it doesn't really matter whether you are here or not.

I wish you never came back, or that i didn't know about it.
Now, i'm suffering.

getaway needed badly

things are getting a little out of hand here.
there's too many matters to settle, and there's only one me.
and i can only take so much.

there's so much to say, and yet no words to describe it.
it's really going in circles, and i'm tired of it.

trying to be happy, trying to be a regular school girl.
but it's not working out at all.

i feel...suppressed, devoid of emotions now.
i am just yet another empty shell.

and like i've said many times, i need a goddamn break.
i really need to get away from all these shit, away from this country.
i need a new life..with no strings attached.

i yearn to wake up everyday..
knowing that i'll be happy and carefree.
knowing that there's no need for me to be responsible and act like i'm an adult,
living in a _________ family, having to look after everyone cus i'm the eldest.

it's damn tiring, i feel weighted down everyday.
it's like im walking in cuffs, there's no way i can fly.

can't i just have a fucking break from all these?
even if it's just for a few days.

words mean nothing

yes, i'm going krazy, thanks to some fuckers.
lazy to explain further.

she looks so gorgeous here.



both sisters are being a huge bitch now.
i could definitely use a break now.
baiz.

negative point zero

Met up with Yanie at elias mall at 430pm, supposed to study at elias mac, but she wanted to go downtown. so we walked to my hse to take my ezlink. then we walked back to elias, i bought stationery, and then i realised my gladiators was spoilt, so we walked back to my hse again for me to change. And then we met up with Daud at dte, and instead of studying at dte, we went to loyang point mac instead. it was like 1hour plus spent on travelling.

Seaweed shaker fries rockkkkkk baby.
And poor daud, came all the way from bukit batok to loyang point just to eat mac before he had to leave for his family gathering. Yanie and me studied till 9pm, before i lost the mood to study because of something. feeling rather sick too.

Anyway my dad will be changing all the house locks at home sometime soon, like asap. Cus of what happened today. Serious what the fuck man. And my dad wrote for us the Neighbourhood police post number, in case something like this happen again. Seriously am afraid to leave the house now.

I wanted to upload pictures today, but my stupid sister took my cable and lent it to her stupid friend, so annoying.

i have no confidence for the upcoming papers on monday and wednesday.
and you, you make me doubt myself, lowering my self confidence and esteem.
what should i do about you boy?

01am now, i think i shall go read my book and sleep.
goodnight world.
baiz

adventures in the airport

it's 9 am now, and i just got home like 2 hours ago only. was at the airport with Krispy Kristy (hahahaha!) the whole night, studying. and i'm still like totally energetic now. i was like so hot and yet cold at the airport, even when it started raining. and the countless smoking breaks, leaving our stuffs all on the table, and us going down for smokey smoke.

now i know that the t1's foodcourt will be playing indian/tamil music from 2am - 5am. it was so irritating, it's like only one song, and it's on repeat mode for 3 hours!? & the cheeko airport staff who kept on looking at us. and smiling at us. and tay hui xian who wanted to go for a walk and leaving me alone with that airport staff sitting at the table opposite us, looking at me study. annoying yet funny.

and kristy's overpriced prawn noodles with only 2 prawns, and my fishball soup with 8 hard fish ballz & fishcakes, and one of 'em fishball was actually a 'bed' for a certain good life fly. and i only ate like 3 fishball, leaving the rest to the rubbish bin.

oh yeah, we encountered a lady who pronounced lime as 'lamb'.
"can i have more lamb?" for her mee siam.
omg it was fucking hilarious, we started laughing immediately. and laughed all the way till we were at the counter paying for our overpriced food, and all the way till we finished eating. okay mainly it was me laughing, and making a joke out of it.

trained home, and i thought i'd be tired and fall asleep immediately. but until now, i'm actually still wide awake, and pretty hungry. but i had like overpriced fishball soup at 0530, so i don't know if i should actually cook maggie mee or what.

im actually craving for some seaweed shakerrrr fries! but it's too early now thou. okay i shall go read my Jodi Picoult's Salem Falls now and force myself to sleep.

baiz.

school, finally

went to school today, just 2 hours. and i'm actually drained out, idk why. :<
after sch went to t1, bought Subway home, like finally again.

and i managed to print some pictures.
finally im updating my wall of photos again.

slept for 4 hours after that. all the way till 6pm.
totally damn shag.

i'm currently having some problems, am so damn stressed about it.
sighhhhh.

sometimes it's hard to....

ok bbaiz

popping pills

hey humans.
im back here again, cus i can't bear to leave. yeah yeah go on saying about how damn indecisive i am, yada yada. but still, im back here.

after resting for soooo many days at home, im actually eager to go back to school! cus i'm like so damn bored at home, there's absolutely nothing to do 'cept going online, online and still online. i know i might regret saying im eager to go school, but yeah. i'm supposed to have plenty of rest, but it seems like my sleeping hours are still the same, screwed.

i've been thinking. life is really very fragile. let's say, if i really did have the h1n1 virus, and die, what will happen to those around me? like my family members and friends? i still have many tasks yet to accomplish, and many wishes not fulfilled. imagine that.

i don't know why i'm saying all these. it just pop out in my mind suddenly. well anyway, i'm gonna pop the meds and then eat my dinner or something. and have a look at process costing. i'm so lagging behind everything.

ok baiz.

boring stuffs as usual baby

ohai.
i went out of the house today, for a few hours. went to caixia's hse after they ended school. hui xian jie help us to dye our hair, and cut my long hair & fringes. so now i feel like i have short hairrrrr, thou it's still long? lol. and say hi to kuku fringe again, haha.

am still sick? and im sick of being sick!!!! forgive the pun. but seriously. eat the medicines and i have no strength to do anything. don't eat the medicines and my fever comes back almost immediately with a damn sorex10 throat. what is this man -_-

i havent been updating lately because i cannot leave the hse? later go out spread germs to other people how? so i've been isolating myself actually. :( i told kristy & caixia to go eat more vitamins and fruits. cus im scared i'll spread the germs to them :/

okay and im sneezing non stop now. like wtf. feels as if the flu is actually coming naowzzzzz. :S

and oh yeah, costing exam tmrw. yeahhhhh. ok baiz.

(L) mr c.

I went to the doctor ystd, it caused me 50 freaking bucks. But i got a few days mc though. and tons of medications to complete. The doctor was soooo witty -.- he asked me if i wanted simei ite to close down. cus apparently i only went to the doc after like 6 days of fever. like hell yeah i know. but the fever's been like up and down. how would i know.

and i went to collect medications today again. like sigh. and on the way back, i talked to fahiq on the phone. and he actually made me realised something. he was right, i changed way too much, i don't even know myself anymore. i don't know who i am anymore. i need to find myself back. but the thing is, what makes me myself? i don't even have the answers to that question. so tell me...who am i?

i forgot to take my medicine again. and i've not eaten anything today at all. just cigarettes. and it's 4pm now. sigh like wtf i know.

im on mc tmrw. so bye.

They want me. I want you. And you want someone else. But none of us want to turn around. -quoted from here

okay here to update.
costing exam yesterday, but i didn't manage to do the paper. cus i was sent home right before the paper due to fever. been having fever these few days, it's been on and off. damn irritating man. and diarrhea in the middle of the night. seriously can die. :(

i don't like awkward situations, like now. :(

I’ve never understood the reasoning for someone to “move on” from a relationship. It’s not like you are really going to “move on”, you are just trying to tell your heart to stop thinking about that person every second of every minute of every day until it finally becomes a routine and you don’t notice it anymore. That is, until you see that person again, with someone who isn’t you, and then you have to remind yourself again.

credits: quotewhore


don't you think it's true?

------

black and white. and sometimes there's grey too. there's just absolutely no one who's really pure, there're always mixtures. just like colours. black and white equates to grey. and grey is just...grey? you can never separate it back into 2 colours.

okay i don't know why i'm saying all this shit.


bye

megan fox, optimus prime & bumble bee!!!

this movie is da bomb. i didn't expect it to be good actually, but i was so damn wrong. can't wait to catch it on dvd. feel like catching it on screen next week again.

okay im damn tired, though its just school for 2 hours.

im gonna go off now.

bye.

this is the end.

Didn't go to school today. Met daud at white sands. After that, met Kristy at toa payoh with Jiajun and his friends. Slacked, watched them play snooker while Kristy and me rot. lol. Wasn't feeling that well towards the end of the day. Vomited. stomach acid and white liquid, which Kristy said was carbon dioxide!? Felt so high, giddy like fuck. -.-

Gonna go school tmrw. sian to the max.

Fucking Failure.

words words words

I know it's been really boring in here, cus i totally lack the motivation to update at all. I can't believe i'm saying this, but now i actually find it pointless to blog without pictures!? And yeah, i've been in hibernation mode this week, so didn't really go out at all.

I realise i always go through phases. And it's a goddamn cycle that i can't seem to break out of it. Maybe it's just my way of handling stuffs that are too much for me to take. There's a period of time whereby i'll keep going out everyday, making myself dead tired and reaching home in the wee hours. And then, i'll just hibernate myself again..maybe say a week. And then the cycle starts again. And yes, my sleeping hours get screwed up again. Insomnia's back. hoo-ray.

And i've been lazy, haven't been working for the past 1 week. Damn sick of the people & environment there.

School's starting tmrw, and im absolutely not prepared at all. I haven't been doing any of the assignments, except costing. Argh the 3 weeks have passed too fast!!!!! I need more holidaysss. Just thinking of school tmrw is making my mood down down down.

Yesterday someone shocked me tremendously. He told me i was his first love, first kiss & first relationship. And the first girl that he ever brought home. Tell me how can i not be shocked!? Okay although the relationship ended like 4 years ago, we're still good friends now. I'm just shocked because i'm too jaded for too many first(s).

I don't feel like going back to school tmrw :S wo tao yan shang xue. >:o|

okie bye.